Dear the person who abuses the medicine I need,
You are making my life a million times harder. You have no idea what it is like to live with chronic pain. I wake up and some days can't move. Some days I wake up in so much pain that I throw up. Some days I fear I will lose my job because I am in too much pain to go in. Some days I am in so much pain I want to give up. I need pain medicine to survive. Do I use it everyday? No. I use it as needed. So you say it's not everyday so who cares? I care. I care because without access to pain killers, I have to go to the hospital and beg for them to put me on an IV of pain killers. I have to walk into somewhere and explain to someone I don't know and who doesn't know my illness how i need pain killers. Then go through the harsh reality of being denied because I'm "a drug seeker." Pain medicines that are not strong enough to even touch my pain are now considered narcotics. Now i have to tell doctors, "hey I need stronger narcotics, those don't work." Every step i take, I am denied the medication I need. Every step I take, I am denied the help I need to get through the day. I am denied access to the only hope I have on days that are too bearable to face. I recently read an article about a woman with my disease who committed suicide after a hospital denying her pain medication. You have no idea what it is like to hurt so much that you want to take your own life. I have been there. I spent years cutting my legs with razors and knifes to try and help control my pain. You have no idea what it is like to be in the mind frame that I have to hurt yourself regularly because no one will give you medication to take away the horrific pain that seems like it will never end. You literally want to do anything to make it stop, even if it means you harm yourself. You can't think straight. Those medications are the only thing that will help. From the bottom of my heart, I beg you please stop using prescription pain killers to get high. I understand, it's appealing. It can make you feel good. It can make you forget everything. But you are making it almost impossible for those who need them to function from getting them. I literally break down crying when the pain starts knowing I will have to fight a doctor to get relief. I get it, you want an escape, but please find one that won't impede on the medical access of those with chronic pain. We beg you, please just let us have our meds. They are the only thing keeping us alive some days.
Sincerely,
The girl who needs these meds
