Dear Self, I'm Gonna Love the F**k Outta You.

Dear Self, I'm Gonna Love the F**k Outta You.

You are worth so much more than you think
1016
views

Dear Self,

It's taken me awhile to write this, because writing this is so damn hard. Even though it shouldn't be. It should be easy. It should be something I could whip up fast. But it's not. Because for the longest time, I didn't know how to love you. So I ignored you.

I ignored when you asked for food, because I only saw "the fat girl" in the mirror. I ignored you when you needed a doctor. Because I thought I just needed to "toughen up". And I ignored you when you were crying out as I was having panic attacks, and drinking and smoking to just fucking stop. I deprived you of water more times than I can even count. I also let people use you. In more ways than one, because I didn't know what love was.

I'm now here to say I'm sorry and I love you. I am so sorry for abusing you in the way that I did. You didn't ask for any of it. I just did it because I felt so worthless. I didn't feel like I had a reason to live, or felt like anyone needed me. Selfish I know. But my brain spoke words louder than love. And I listened. And I'm so, so sorry.

Dear Body,

You are so perfect the way you are. God made you from scratch and created my soul in the process. God made your curves, your edges, and every beautiful feature I have, to make me unique. I love the freckles that appear on my face during the summertime, because I spend all my time outside. I love how my hair gets lighter and my eyes turn bluer. I love the curves you gave me because it's an hourglass, and that for some reason makes me so happy.

As I look in the mirror, I choose now to replace all those negative thoughts with positive ones. You ARE beautiful. You ARE wonderful. You ARE confident. You ARE sexy. Your place on this earth has a purpose and on days you don't want to believe it, own that shit honey.

Allow yourself to open up, to live, to feel. Don’t hide away, and by all means, don’t let the bipolar disorder and the depression and anxiety define who you are. Because it isn’t. Just like the past, that doesn’t define you, only makes you a stronger person in the end.

Don’t push the ones who love and support you the most, away. They love the fuck out of you regardless of how dark and twisty you are. We all have a dark side darling, and the people who stay during times of trial, are the ones to keep in your life. They want to see you succeed. They want to see you feeling good and taking care of YOU. They will piss you off to no end (especially when you’re choosing to do something stupid like not eat) because they care.

And self, one more thing, anytime you're not feeling like you're worth it, refer back to this article because you ARE worth it. You have a purpose on this earth and you deserve to fulfill that purpose. Don't ever let anyone bring you down about having issues, because it's okay not to be okay.

I love you so much,

Love,

Me


Cover Image Credit: facebook.com/ashton.beals

Popular Right Now

30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
40932
views

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

9 Ways For EveryBODY To Increase Their Body Positivity

Fun and affective ways to change the way you view your body.

181
views

No matter what your body looks like, everyone struggles with viewing their body in a positive way. With media and society pressuring women to have the "perfect body," loving your body can be hard.

Here are nine ways you can have a positive relationship with your body and begin love yourself unconditionally.

1. Talk positively 

Talk positively about your body at all times. Then the main source of negativity comes from derogatory terms that society has drilled into our minds since were children. If you change the words you use, it could have a huge impact on how you view yourself. For example, instead of, "this makes me look fat" try, "this isn't the most flattering clothing for my figure." Using words like no flattery or curvy or thin can make you change your perspective on your body.

2. Don't compare yourself to others

Every body is different so try not to compare yourself to others. Although this is still something I struggle with, it always good to remind yourself. The proportion of the human body varies from person to person. Some people have long torsos and some have short, some have long legs and some do not. Some have curvier hips and others have more petite hips.

All are OK.

Just like everyone has different faces, this makes us unique. Imagine how boring life would be if we all looked like the same cookie cutter image. There would be no variety, so no beauty. You have to learn to embrace your body as the unique and diverse thing it is.

3. Show it off

Show off what you love! Everyone had some part of their body that they happen to like more than the others for me it's my waist. When you get dressed in the morning, try to wear something that accents this part of the body. For me, I love to wear high waisted or high rise pants with a blouse that comes in at the waist or is slightly cropped. If you show what you love that can radiate to those around you and give you an extra boost of confidence.

4. Skin care

Take some time to add a skincare routine into your day. This doesn't have to be crazy long, but even putting on moisturizer or lotion can make your skin glow and make you feel more luxurious which can boost confidence.

5. Say goodbye to old clothes 

Get rid of clothes that don't fit. Nothing is more damaging than having an article of clothing that you just stare at waiting for it one day to fit. Filling your closet with items that fit can take less pressure off of getting ready in the morning and make you feel like you have more outfit options. If you are able to pick a flattering outfit, you will be more comfortable and confident throughout the day.

6. Don't look at numbers 

Stop look at numbers. Clothing for women come in many sizes and one size at one place may not be the same as that size at a different store. If you go into a store for a certain size and realize it doesn't fit your confidence can be depleted. Clothing companies get pieces from different manufacturers and that can play a huge role in how sizing is expressed. This makes looking at clothing more stressful. Instead of looking at the number, look at the piece of clothing itself. Usually, you can tell what will fit your body and what won't just by looking at it and feeling the texture. And if the piece of clothing ends up not be the right size, go a little bigger or smaller. You don't have to stick to one number.

7. All bodies are beautiful 

No matter how curvey or thin you are, all bodies are beautiful. They can stretch, get you from one place to another, protect you form danger, they patch up scrapes and even have the ability to grow another human. The human body is extremely extraordinary and if you take pride in the amazing things your body can do, you will love your body.

8. Inner beauty shines

Check your inner beauty. Remember that confidence and looks aren't the only things that make you beautiful. The way you treat people and how you show yourself to the world also has a great part in beauty. If you are kind people will notice. If you help others, you will be noticed. Nothing is more unattractive than a mean and malicious person. If you don't have inner beauty, can you have outer beauty?

9. Relationships are key

Build others up. Nothing changes the way you look at yourself than being around people who you support and who support you. Being around people who constantly tear you down isn't healthy. Society has pressured women to constantly be competing with each other. Instead of bringing each other down women need to build each other up. If we increase the love we have for other women and their bodies, we can begin to love ourselves.

Related Content

Facebook Comments