Hey friends, Happy New Year!
I'll be the first one to say that there were quite a few things that I missed about being at school (also the first time I think I've ever said that in my life ever, so you know this is coming from the heart). I definitely missed my friends #litconforlyfe, I miss that exhilarating feeling I'd get everyday when I'd finally reach 10,000 steps #getyourstepsin, and I actually missed learning new things about practically everything, everyday #knowledge.
But, if there's one thing I definitely did NOT miss over the break, it was the wannabe Tony Hawk skateboarders and cyclists all over campus. So: I figured now was a better time than ever to give y'all a piece of my mind #newyearnewme.
Dear Cyclists,
First of all, y'all need to chill with that speed racer down the sidewalk stuff. I know you may be late to class or want to grab the last spot on the bike rack, or you're just really excited to go to Memo and grab one of Ms. Mei's cookies, but y'all gotta chill. See, some time long long ago, some genius invented this thing called the BIKE LANE. I don't know if you've ever heard of it, but now that you have, if you could do us all a favor and USE IT, I'd really appreciate it thanks. Second, I don't appreciate the passive aggressiveness y'all tend to display when us folks who have to walk to class are sharing the sidewalk with y'all.It's called a sideWALK for a reason pal so I'm just doing my job as someone who is able to walk ok. Look man, I promise you I'm doing the best I can ok, but these tree stump legs can only take me so far, so let me live ok? Also, if it really bothers you THAT much, I see that as all the more reason to use another avenue like oh I don't know THE BIKE LANE. Just a suggestion.
Now moving on,
Dear Skateboarders,
First of all sonny, I don't know if you've noticed but this a campus, not Tony Hawk's ProSkater 3. So what you need to do, is stop with all of the kick flips, and 180s and all that nonsense ok. Also, similar to your buddies on bikes, each of you also need to chill with a the speed racer stuff. Just stop it please. I'm not trynna die to day alright buddy? Also, can we please not do the thing where you whip around the corners of sidewalks all swift yet ferocious-like please? Its scary and there are people here on campus who are easily frightened by that stuff A.K.A me. So lets turn around corners at a normal rate of speed and ferocity alright? Thanks guys, I really appreciate it.
Alright, now that we've cleared that up, I hope each of you have a wonderful start to this near year and new semester. I know each of you are going to do incredible things in these next few months, so don't be afraid to take risk and do what makes you happy. And it doesn't matter if you bike, skate, or even walk around campus. Just make sure to stay safe and always #getyourstepsin
And to the scooter riders out there, I spared y'all for now, but just know you're on thin ice pal.
