Dear "Nice Guy,"

I see you.

I see all of the presents, affection, and friendship that you give to the girl of your dreams. I see your support and the way you pine after her, pondering sadly about why she will never give you the time of day, and only goes after "assholes."

I see you.

I also see you when she finally rejects you, screaming out that "You had bought her dinner, why didn't she love you?!" I see how everything that you saw in this girl suddenly melts away the minute that she is unattainable as a sexual or romantic prize.

I see how when she tells you no, you hear that as "convince me."

See, here is the thing you need to learn.

If you are only nice until she says no, then you are not a nice guy. You are an asshole.

To be quite honest, you turn out like this:

When you are nice to one of your male friends, you'll pick up the check without a second thought because this man is your friend. It's the decent thing to do. But as soon as this friend suddenly owns a vagina it seems that your kindness has an ulterior motive.

That's not really friendship, and that is not kindness.

That is you building your reputation up with your "target" so hopefully, she'll fall in love with the guy who is nothing but nice to her. When she broke up with her boyfriend, you were her shoulder to cry on. When she couldn't pay for her lunch, you picked it up for her. You'd listen to her talk about her passions. She tells you that you're amazing and she couldn't have gone through this without you.

You're the perfect guy for her! Why didn't she see that you deserve her?

Women do not owe you anything for being nice.

Women are not sexual objects that you can feed human decency into and sex and affection pops out like a sick intimacy gumball machine. We are human beings that deserve to be treated as equals. If you believe that a woman should reward you for being kind then you need to take a step back and evaluate your priorities. We deserve kindness because we are human beings.

It's not even because we are your mothers, sisters, daughters—it's because we are people.

So, she rejects you. You became angry, blaming her for leading you on (she didn't) and that you wasted your time on paying attention to her (you didn't). Why is her friendship not good enough for you? Is it that, once she becomes something other than a potential love interest, you don't think you would even bother with her? This is extremely problematic. This shows that nice guys only equate women as something to be earned or obtained, not as actual people. As soon as the metaphorical stop sign lights up its like men correlate this as Cinderella losing her dress and carriage at midnight: she suddenly isn't interesting (PS Cinderella totally rocks).

You're hurt, the girl of your dream rejects you and you're "friendzoned."

But think about it this way: imagine being "girlfriendzoned."

Men aren't interested in being your friend unless they can conquer your affection. You may have lost a potential love, but the girl has lost someone she believed was just a genuine friend. It is a stab in the heart to realize that this man wasn't interested in your passions or being a genuine friend to you, he was only interested in claiming you.

And once again, we are stripped of our humanity, our personality, and passions because you couldn't stand the fact that a girl simply wanted to be friends.

You then leave and she's left wondering why she wasn't interesting enough beyond the fact that you thought she was hot.

You insult her, saying that she's delusional or that she is a bitch, that she really wasn't that pretty anyways, except five minutes before this you compared her to the sun.

Are you so broken and your dignity so easily destroyed that you felt the need to insult the girl who believed you were best friends, simply because she didn't want you the way you wanted her?

So no, I don't feel sorry she rejected you. I have rejected many "nice guys" in my short lifetime, and they have all turned out to not be very nice. So take your saltiness and spread it around the drink that you tried to buy her, because that is the only place that much salt belongs.

Sincerely,

A Girl Who Has Rejected the Nice Guys