Dear Men:
We really are not that complicated.
Seriously.
I have always heard men say that women are complicated and they don’t know how to make a woman happy. I have never understood this. Of course we all have different personalities, but we all basically need the same things to keep us happy. You are making this way more complicated than it actually is.
Let us know we are special.
That doesn’t mean you have to go out and buy us a Michael Kors bag, at least not every time. Sure, we love purses and jewelry and anything you want to buy us that we can keep. But it is special because it is from you. You’re the one that took the time and effort to go buy it for us so it will always have sentimental value to us. Guess what, though? If you leave a rose on our car for us to see when we walk out to work the next morning, it will have the same affect. You will still see a smile just as big. You can write us a note and we would be thrilled. Sure, we aren’t going to complain if you want to spend money on us, but I am just saying you don’t have to. All you need to do it something to let us know that we are on your mind. That is all.
Surprise us.
You could seriously surprise us with anything. You could show up with our favorite drink from Starbucks and it would mean the world to us. We just like to know that we are thought about. Sure, we won’t complain if you actually take the time to run us a bath with candles and a glass of wine if we have had a bad day, but all in all, we just need to know that we are on your priority, regardless how you want to show us. Buy us a 99 cent 'thinking of you' card or find a song on YouTube that shows how you feel about us. Any surprise will do.
Listen to us.
We are women so we like to talk. Let us know that you were paying attention and actually care about what we said. If I said I wanted to try that new restaurant in town, then surprise me one night by taking me without me having to ask. If you know I want to see a new movie that just came out, take me
Don’t Stop Dating Us.
Often, men just want to take their women on dates in the very beginning. Just because we have been together for a few years or even if we are married doesn’t mean that you are supposed to stop dating us. Make plans. It shouldn’t be “What do you want to do tonight?” followed by an, “I don’t care, whatever you want to do.” Actually make plans and take us somewhere. Instead say, “This is what we are doing tonight.” and actually have a plan.
The little things.
It really is just about little things. Little things are actually big things that go a long way. Tell us that we are beautiful. Tell us that we are the most important thing in your life. Just because you have said it before doesn’t mean that we don’t like to hear it.
Effort.
Effort is honestly the best thing you can do. It doesn’t matter if you have screwed up 1000 times, if we see that you are trying, we still recognize that. It is when you stop trying that we feel like you don’t care.
Quality time.
You may think we don’t want you to ever hang out with your friends, but honestly that is not true. We want you to do the things you love to do and spend time with your friends, but we also want you to spend time with us. Sitting at dinner while you stare at your phone is not spending time together. Even if we are physically together, we aren’t mentally together. Try actually having a legit conversation with us.
Be a partner.
A relationship means having a partner. There is no point in being together if you aren’t going to build with us and grow with us. Truly be our team mate; a best friend. Make decision with us. Ask our opinion on things. Don’t just set us to the side and come to us when it is convenient for you.
Consistency.
A relationship is a commitment. That means you are in it for the long stretch. This also means that whatever you did in the beginning is what you always have to do. Men often say, “She changed. She’s not the same as she was when I met her.” But are you the same? Or did you stop doing all those sweet things that made her happy. You did it in the beginning, so why can’t you continue to do it 3 years later. If you want someone in your life, then you also need to commit to the by being consistent with your actions.
Of course, there are obviously other things that determines a person’s happiness. It also depends on the individual because we are all different. But generally speaking, these are the key components of a successful relationship.
