Cancer,
This letter did not begin with “dear” for a reason. There is nothing “dear” about you, about the lives you have affected, about the suffering you have caused. About the tears that fall because of you, or about the fear you permanently leave on so many hearts.
You came into my life when I was just a young girl. I was four when my mom told me my grandfather had moved to heaven. I was seven when my other grandfather, too, moved to heaven. Two of the most vibrant souls who both fought like soldiers. You attacked them relentlessly and you left them helpless.
This is all I knew of you, Cancer. The evil "thing" that had taken my Pops from me.
I hoped and prayed that I never had to encounter you again...
I was nine when you decided to settle down in my brother.
Mark may have cancer. My dad told me...
What are you talking about? No he doesn't. He is only seven. He is a child.
I have to ask- how did you decide? As I have grown up, I have noticed that you seem to pick the most virtuous people to torment.
However, I still do not understand. Is it because you prefer someone who will give you hell right back? What is your end goal? What was it exactly about Mark that drew you in?
I watched, as you took over that little body of his. I watched, as his energy decreased. I watched as the Chemo symptoms they spoke of, kicked in. Cancer, you stole his childhood. You are an awful force, proven to be capable of anything and here you were, inside my baby brother.
My sisters wore masks of bravery, while my parents endured sleepless nights- sleepless weeks. I watched helplessly as all of this happened. I did not fully understand what was happening.
Almost 10 years later, I still do not fully understand why. And I am not sure I ever will.
I've always been told to search for silver linings in every situation. And I think finally I have been able to find the silver lining in you.
That is: learning not to take any moment for granted, and having a wide opening perspective when looking a thing the world.
Understanding that it isn't a bad life, just a bad day and anything can be conquered, if you have enough fight left in you.
