I’m just going to put it out there.
Anxiety, you suck.
You have caused me so many issues, more than you can even begin to imagine. Living with you for the majority of my life has been a rollercoaster. There have been ups and downs when it comes to dealing with you, and most of the time, I have wished for you to go away and to never come back. You have damaged my relationships with others. You have gotten in the way of opportunities which I have had to give up, just so I could please you. You have caused me so much physical pain and mental stress that it sometimes becomes unbearable to deal with.
Not many people understand what it is like living with you. Having to describe the feeling to others is extremely difficult. You are everywhere I turn. I cannot hide or get rid of you because we both know you will be apart of who I am forever. However, you do not define me. You also do not control me. You are toxic and I have learned how to resist your urge to make my life harder than it should be.
You always had me thinking ahead, worrying about unrealistic situations that I probably will never encounter. But I am learning to live in the now; in the present. Your negativity has taught me to appreciate the time I have on earth and the people that surround me. You have given me unnecessary worries. I have let you take advantage of my behavior and my thoughts. I have acted irrationally and I have embarrassed myself in public because of you. You have made me believe I was not good enough for anyone and that no one wants to be in my company. Socially, you have hurt me too. The social strain you have put on me has interfered with my day to day life. You used to make me believe that nobody I knew even wanted me around. You had me question my self-worth, my happiness and also my identity. But I am now able to take you by the reigns and manage your power.
You’re a monster
You’re a menace.
You’re not wanted, here or anywhere.
I hate you, I really do.
I’m done with the ripped hair, the peeled skin, the torn nails and the lip biting you have caused me to do. No more racing thoughts, shaking hands or tapping feet. I am taking charge and making myself better. You will not have anymore power over my mind, behavior, personality or my happiness.
