It's likely that you or someone you know suffers from anxiety. And I'm sure you know that it sucks. It's not something that you can control, it just hits when it wants to. You can be completely alone or with dozens of people, in school or in church; anxiety doesn't care what you're doing. All it cares about is ruining what great day you could or could already be having. It's not pretty or glamorous. It's unfair and undeserving, but it still has a way into our minds.
Some days are really great for me. My anxiety is nowhere in sight but happiness is. Those days are my favorite. Those days are the most clear to me, I'm aware of what is going on and what is. I have motivation and eagerness for the future. Unfortunately, not every day is like that. Some days are less than great. Maybe not always terrible but not what I want.
For me, it starts right when I wake up. I'll open my eyes and my brain will automatically go to something I definitely don't want to be thinking about first thing in the morning. "Hey! Guess what you haven't thought about in a while.... Do remember getting broken up with?!?" Oh yeah....love to think about that when I don't even know what the day is yet. However, I usually try to squash those thoughts as quickly as I can. I immediately sit up, close my eyes, and pray.
"Don't be anxious about anything, but pray in everything with thanksgiving. Then the incomprehensible peace of God will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7
It immediately calms me down and I can properly wake and get ready for the day. If that doesn't work, I'll try to talk to myself. Yep...you read that right. I will talk to myself and try to workout the ridiculous scenario going on in my mind. I actually do that a lot. For example; I'll start to think about a friend and instead of thinking something great, my mind will turn to the negative and create some idea that something bad is going to happen. It's awful. What's worse is that sometimes I'll actually believe it.
There is usually a good chunk of time where I will be perfectly fine. Life is good, friends are great, etc.. During that time I usually either don't think about anything negative at all or I'll use those moments of clarity to resolve what was previously in my head. Unless I go to the grocery store at some point in that time. I always have anxiety when going grocery shopping. I'm sure why I get it, maybe because of the people or the fact that grocery shopping is pretty personal, but whatever the reason, I try to get in and out as quickly as possible.
"Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7
Some days my anxiety doesn't come back and I am very thankful for that. Other days it will hit me and not go away until I fall asleep. Usually my anxiety is about what ever is currently going on in my life; the good, the bad, and the ugly. It will create problems when there aren't any to begin with. Or it will take a small problem and turn it into something massive. It will take something good in my life and ruin by thinking what could go wrong or what could be said. It will keep me confused and overthinking. It will create situations in my head that would never or have never happened. It has no stopping point, it will keep going until I finally say enough. Which I do eventually.
I never understand my anxiety and I never understand why I constantly think what I do even though I know it's stupid and false. Anxiety is real and shouldn't be tossed to the side for "real problems," but those who suffer from it shouldn't be looked down on. A day in the life of a person with anxiety is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, but one thing is for sure; it won't ever keep me down.
"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?" -Matthew 6:26-27
