Things To Know Before Dating A Writer

Things To Know Before Dating A Writer

Writers are the some of the most interesting people in the planet, but know what you are getting into.

Listen up, ladies, this might help you in your quest to find the best guys in the world—writers.

We writers might act super cool in front of you, talk smooth and just generally have a way with words, but here's the secret: The whole writer thing is the only game we have.

To an unsuspecting potential mate, I’m just like every other unremarkable 24-year-old with glasses. But when they ask me what I do with my time and I reply with, “I’m a writer who covers sports and writes the occasional short story,” they melt.

I understand wanting to date one of us. I can’t blame you. We’re alluring. We’re elusive. We’re romantic. We’re witty. But you really need to know what you’re getting into because sometimes you get a lot more than what you expect.

We have no money.

We writers pour our hearts into soul-sucking work for next to nothing. That means we’re always going Dutch. If going to Capital Grille for nearly every anniversary is what you're looking for, then don't even try and stay with writers. They will get you a nice table at McDonald's or Taco Bell, but rarely we have the cash to drop on a $200 meal.

We can’t help it.

We are storytellers. Personally, I’ve been one for as long as I can remember. As a child, I wrote little short stories about aliens that would come and take over the world, or I would mash my favorite superhero (Batman) and create stories about how he would save the world in difference scenarios.

We are always connected.

Not only are we storytellers but we also have a compulsion for communication, which means we have the writer trifecta, which consists of Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. We are always on our phone but we are good at multitasking and are also listening to you—even though it doesn't sound like it, we are, I promise. Also, if we start "talking" and you text me, I reply instantly. No, it's not because I'm desperate, it's because it's in a writers DNA to always be connected. Don't throw us away because of a few quick replies. Please note: If you are not a great texter, let him know ahead of time or else he will feel you are uninterested.

Writers are dramatic, often gossipy and tend to exaggerate.

No matter what type of writer someone is, we all love hearing other people’s stories and we all love telling them. We tend to also exaggerate... a lot. I didn't jump a thee-foot fence, I jumped a 50-foot high wall with sharks swimming in the moat around it. We’re also prone to dramatic episodes and operate in hyperbole. We’ll never admit how dramatic we are, but truth be told, we love drama. If you date one of us, expect nothing less than improbable plot twists and extreme character development when recounting our trips to Wal-Mart.

We always have "a guy" for anything.

Need a phone guy? Got it. Need a tent guy? Got it. Need a ticket guy? Got it. In our years of writing, whether for blogs or newspapers, we come into contact with thousands of people and we become connected. If you are looking for something, chances are we have it.

Sometimes I have a flash of inspiration and I have to handle it then and there.

I’ll apologize now for flaking on you or for taking a break from whatever we’re doing to jot some stuff down. (See the above note about not being able to help it.) If I’m in the mood to write, I have to take advantage of it, especially when I force myself to write for pay all the time. You just never know when it’ll strike.

You’ll probably see yourself reflected in the work.

If you’re dating a writer and they don’t write about you—whether it’s good or bad—then they don’t love you. They just don’t, pack up your things and leave because it's not going to get better. Writers fall in love with the people we find inspiring. If you don’t set my pen on fire, how are you going to set my heart on fire?

You can find out more than you’ve ever wanted to know about us on the Internet.

Seriously. Google me.

Writers are crazy.

I don’t mean crazy in the way people throw the word at anyone we disagree with, I actually mean insane. Like I said earlier, we have a flair for the dramatics and so we are often misunderstood. But I'll be honest, we have to be at least a little bit on the crazy side, or we wouldn’t be any good at what we do. Really, who wants to read something a boring sane person wrote, anyway? Not me.

We’re actually not cool at all.

I know, it may seem cool to earn money from writing, but it’s not. It’s just what we do. I do not lead a glamorous life, and no, meeting famous people isn't "awesome." I mean, it used to, be but now it just became part of the job and because you see them often, they become regular people. Writing is mentally taxing labor—albeit conducted while in sweatpants on my couch—but labor just the same. And we almost never see the sun. Seriously. Take us on a midday stroll or something. We probably need a break from staring at those two paragraphs we were working on all morning.

All writers need a good editor, but that editor is probably not you.

We may ask for your opinion on our work, but unless you’ve won a Pulitzer or something, we’re gonna get pissed if you’re critical of our lifeblood. This works in reverse, too. I’ve had girlfriends ask me to review their work, only to balk when I rip it to shreds. What did you expect? People pay me to edit their work. If you don’t actually want my professional opinion, don’t ask for it.

We might come off as pompous jerks, but we are not.

If I had a dollar every time a friend told me that when they first met they thought I was a pompous jerk, I'd be the richer than Donald Trump. Sure, we love to talk about ourselves, but that doesn't mean it's not for nothing. As stated above, we are storytellers and so we love to talk about our day, or things that happened to us. But deep down, we aren't being pompous jerks, we are just being friendly and hoping you love us for talking about how our day went.

We keep irregular schedules at best.

One day I'll have three 1,000-word pieces due and a feature to fact check that I’ll work on until 4 a.m., and the next day I’ll be home watching "Justice League" all day. Just because I don’t have a job I go to, doesn’t mean I’m not busy.

Cover Image Credit: bayanmall

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Origin Of Life

A small theory for a very big thing.

One of the most controversial topics to ever face the humans on earth: The origin of life. There are so many different ideas and theories to support, however I’m going to discuss it purely based on scientific research.

It’s estimated that the Earth was formed around 4.5 billion years ago. This estimate comes from measuring the ages of the oldest rocks on Earth, along with the ages of moon rocks and meteorites, from a process called radioactive dating (which means the decay of radioactive isotopes is used to calculate the time of the rocks creation). I would go more into this process, however there’s a lot to discuss about the origin of life, and not rocks.

Imagine this: Earth as we know it now, except back then it’s literally a bunch of flaming rocks. There’s this ball of flaming rocks, and it’s constantly being hit with more, you guessed it, flaming rocks (can also be called meteors). Just a little fact, one of the meteors that hit “earth” hit it so well that the moon was created due to the amount of debri flying around in earth’s orbit. Another little fact, some of those meteors that were plummeting into earth actually contained H20 (water)! There’s now steam in the atmosphere and the temperature is cooling, resulting in an actual ground instead of hot lava. However, the ground doesn’t last long for there’s a lot, i repeat a lot of rain that occurs, therefore creating an ocean. However fear not, land does come back, and with that, we have an earth that is more familiar to us. But wait! Where’s the life? That’s where this origin of life theory i’m going to discuss comes in.

While it’s still not known for sure how life came to be, there is one theory that stands out. During the 1920s, Russian scientist Aleksandr Oparin and English scientist J. B. S. Haldane both (separately) proposed what's now called the Oparin-Haldane hypothesis: life on Earth could have arisen step-by-step from non-living matter through a process of “gradual chemical evolution.” Oparin and Haldane theorized that the early Earth had a reducing atmosphere, meaning an oxygen-poor atmosphere in which molecules are able and tend to donate electrons. Under these conditions, simple inorganic molecules (that traveled from a meteor) could have reacted (with energy from lightning or the sun) to form building blocks such as acids and nucleotides, which could have accumulated in the oceans, making a "primordial soup." The building blocks (monomers) could have combined in further reactions, forming larger, more complex molecules (polymers) like proteins and nucleic acids. The polymers then could have assembled into units or structures that were capable of sustaining and replicating themselves. Oparin thought these might have been “colonies” of proteins clustered together to carry out metabolism, while Haldane suggested that macromolecules became enclosed in membranes to make cell-like structures.

And there you have it, a origin of life theory. While there are many others to discuss, this one made sense to discuss just due to the fact that it kind of covers everything. Now with this gained knowledge, go forth and research more!

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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I Refuse To Apologize For Putting My Mental Health Before My Education

It's OK to not be OK.

I’ve been in college for a long time now. By the time I receive my undergraduate degree I will be 24 going on 25. Some days I think about this and I feel defeated, like I’m far behind where I wanted to be in my life. Then I remember why I’m so far behind and I feel a little bit better about it.

I’ve struggled with various mental illnesses for a large portion of my life. Over the past 10 years at least. It’s been a daily struggle and somedays I can get out of bed and face the day and be perfectly fine, but there are days when I can’t function. AND THAT’S OKAY.

I used to beat myself up for missing a class or having to call into work because I just couldn’t do life that day. As I’ve gotten older I’ve let myself realize that you have to take care of yourself in whatever way works for you. If that means that you have to stay in bed for three days and sleep, then do that and when you feel more yourself face the world and get your life together.

Mental health days have proven to be so important to my life and successfully functioning as a part of society. Yes, maybe it’s taken me a bit longer to get through certain parts of my life, but I’ve moved at a pace that works for me and when I’m finally finished with this chapter of my life I’ll be able to say that I came out happy and healthy and functional.

College is hard. It’s hard for healthy people and it’s definitely hard for those who struggle with any sort of illness, mental or physical.

Over the past 10 years I have come to terms with what my illnesses mean. I can’t be like everyone else all the time and I can’t just pretend everything is fine. The more I tried to ignore my problems, the larger my problems became. In this case ignorance IS NOT bliss, it’s a death sentence.

Everyone in this world will struggle with something at some point in their life and if you’re anything like me you’ll put on a brave face and say that you’re fine…for a while. But there is no shame in not being okay. You can’t be okay all that time. To quote my favorite show, Grey’s Anatomy, “Not everybody has to be happy all the time. That’s not mental health; that’s crap!”

Take that day off. Stay in bed. Eat that junk food that you never let yourself have. Cry. Scream. Drive until you don’t remember why you weren’t okay in the first place. Do whatever it is you need to do to feel okay (within reason. Please don’t do anything unhealthy). Accept that it is okay not to be okay and show the world that, yeah maybe you’re a hot mess, but you’re handling it and you’ll come out better than ever because you took the time to sort out your crap and maintain your mental health instead of rushing through it to please society.

So maybe I’ll be in my 30’s before I finish school, but that’s okay because I’m healthy-ish, I’m happy-sorta, and I did what I needed to do to succeed in my own life and I refuse to apologize for that.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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