Things To Know Before Dating A Writer

Things To Know Before Dating A Writer

Writers are the some of the most interesting people in the planet, but know what you are getting into.
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Listen up, ladies, this might help you in your quest to find the best guys in the world—writers.

We writers might act super cool in front of you, talk smooth and just generally have a way with words, but here's the secret: The whole writer thing is the only game we have.

To an unsuspecting potential mate, I’m just like every other unremarkable 24-year-old with glasses. But when they ask me what I do with my time and I reply with, “I’m a writer who covers sports and writes the occasional short story,” they melt.

I understand wanting to date one of us. I can’t blame you. We’re alluring. We’re elusive. We’re romantic. We’re witty. But you really need to know what you’re getting into because sometimes you get a lot more than what you expect.

We have no money.

We writers pour our hearts into soul-sucking work for next to nothing. That means we’re always going Dutch. If going to Capital Grille for nearly every anniversary is what you're looking for, then don't even try and stay with writers. They will get you a nice table at McDonald's or Taco Bell, but rarely we have the cash to drop on a $200 meal.

We can’t help it.

We are storytellers. Personally, I’ve been one for as long as I can remember. As a child, I wrote little short stories about aliens that would come and take over the world, or I would mash my favorite superhero (Batman) and create stories about how he would save the world in difference scenarios.

We are always connected.

Not only are we storytellers but we also have a compulsion for communication, which means we have the writer trifecta, which consists of Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. We are always on our phone but we are good at multitasking and are also listening to you—even though it doesn't sound like it, we are, I promise. Also, if we start "talking" and you text me, I reply instantly. No, it's not because I'm desperate, it's because it's in a writers DNA to always be connected. Don't throw us away because of a few quick replies. Please note: If you are not a great texter, let him know ahead of time or else he will feel you are uninterested.

Writers are dramatic, often gossipy and tend to exaggerate.

No matter what type of writer someone is, we all love hearing other people’s stories and we all love telling them. We tend to also exaggerate... a lot. I didn't jump a thee-foot fence, I jumped a 50-foot high wall with sharks swimming in the moat around it. We’re also prone to dramatic episodes and operate in hyperbole. We’ll never admit how dramatic we are, but truth be told, we love drama. If you date one of us, expect nothing less than improbable plot twists and extreme character development when recounting our trips to Wal-Mart.

We always have "a guy" for anything.

Need a phone guy? Got it. Need a tent guy? Got it. Need a ticket guy? Got it. In our years of writing, whether for blogs or newspapers, we come into contact with thousands of people and we become connected. If you are looking for something, chances are we have it.

Sometimes I have a flash of inspiration and I have to handle it then and there.

I’ll apologize now for flaking on you or for taking a break from whatever we’re doing to jot some stuff down. (See the above note about not being able to help it.) If I’m in the mood to write, I have to take advantage of it, especially when I force myself to write for pay all the time. You just never know when it’ll strike.

You’ll probably see yourself reflected in the work.

If you’re dating a writer and they don’t write about you—whether it’s good or bad—then they don’t love you. They just don’t, pack up your things and leave because it's not going to get better. Writers fall in love with the people we find inspiring. If you don’t set my pen on fire, how are you going to set my heart on fire?

You can find out more than you’ve ever wanted to know about us on the Internet.

Seriously. Google me.

Writers are crazy.

I don’t mean crazy in the way people throw the word at anyone we disagree with, I actually mean insane. Like I said earlier, we have a flair for the dramatics and so we are often misunderstood. But I'll be honest, we have to be at least a little bit on the crazy side, or we wouldn’t be any good at what we do. Really, who wants to read something a boring sane person wrote, anyway? Not me.

We’re actually not cool at all.

I know, it may seem cool to earn money from writing, but it’s not. It’s just what we do. I do not lead a glamorous life, and no, meeting famous people isn't "awesome." I mean, it used to, be but now it just became part of the job and because you see them often, they become regular people. Writing is mentally taxing labor—albeit conducted while in sweatpants on my couch—but labor just the same. And we almost never see the sun. Seriously. Take us on a midday stroll or something. We probably need a break from staring at those two paragraphs we were working on all morning.

All writers need a good editor, but that editor is probably not you.

We may ask for your opinion on our work, but unless you’ve won a Pulitzer or something, we’re gonna get pissed if you’re critical of our lifeblood. This works in reverse, too. I’ve had girlfriends ask me to review their work, only to balk when I rip it to shreds. What did you expect? People pay me to edit their work. If you don’t actually want my professional opinion, don’t ask for it.

We might come off as pompous jerks, but we are not.

If I had a dollar every time a friend told me that when they first met they thought I was a pompous jerk, I'd be the richer than Donald Trump. Sure, we love to talk about ourselves, but that doesn't mean it's not for nothing. As stated above, we are storytellers and so we love to talk about our day, or things that happened to us. But deep down, we aren't being pompous jerks, we are just being friendly and hoping you love us for talking about how our day went.

We keep irregular schedules at best.

One day I'll have three 1,000-word pieces due and a feature to fact check that I’ll work on until 4 a.m., and the next day I’ll be home watching "Justice League" all day. Just because I don’t have a job I go to, doesn’t mean I’m not busy.

Cover Image Credit: bayanmall

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I Weigh Over 200 Lbs And You Can Catch Me In A Bikini This Summer

There is no magic number that determines who can wear a bikini and who cannot.
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It is about February every year when I realize that bikini season is approaching. I know a lot of people who feel this way, too. In pursuit of the perfect "summer body," more meals are prepped and more time is spent in the gym. Obviously, making healthier choices is a good thing! But here is a reminder that you do not have to have a flat stomach and abs to rock a bikini.

Since my first semester of college, I've weighed over 200 pounds. Sometimes way more, sometimes only a few pounds more, but I have not seen a weight starting with the number "1" since the beginning of my freshman year of college.

My weight has fluctuated, my health has fluctuated, and unfortunately, my confidence has fluctuated. But no matter what, I haven't allowed myself to give up wearing the things I want to wear to please the eyes of society. And you shouldn't, either.

I weigh over 200lbs in both of these photos. To me, (and probably to you), one photo looks better than the other one. But what remains the same is, regardless, I still chose to wear the bathing suit that made me feel beautiful, and I'm still smiling in both photos. Nobody has the right to tell you what you can and can't wear because of the way you look.

There is no magic number that equates to health. In the second photo (and the cover photo), I still weigh over 200 lbs. But I hit the gym daily, ate all around healthier and noticed differences not only on the scale but in my mood, my heart health, my skin and so many other areas. You are not unhealthy because you weigh over 200 lbs and you are not healthy because you weigh 125. And, you are not confined to certain clothing items because of it, either.

This summer, after gaining quite a bit of weight back during the second semester of my senior year, I look somewhere between those two photos. I am disappointed in myself, but ultimately still love my body and I'm proud of the motivation I have to get to where I want to be while having the confidence to still love myself where I am.

And if you think just because I look a little chubby that I won't be rocking a bikini this summer, you're out of your mind.

If YOU feel confident, and if YOU feel beautiful, don't mind what anybody else says. Rock that bikini and feel amazing doing it.

Cover Image Credit: Sara Petty

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4 Things To Do When You're In A Depressive Episode

Even if you don't have any plans besides staying home all day in a depressive puddle, doing these two small things helps put me into a more productive mindset.
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Depressive episodes are debilitating, to say the least. They come when you least expect them and gnaw at your mind, leaving you numb.

As I have mentioned in previous articles, I have the tendency to go through depressive episodes. These episodes generally last anywhere from a few hours to a few days. They usually happen for no particular reason, with no warning.

And there's not really that much to be done in terms of curing it. It's more about just getting through it.

Since we are nearing the end of Mental Health Awareness Month, I thought I'd give my advice on little things you can do when you're in a spot of depression.

Every person's mental health experience is different, so what helps me might not help you. Also, this advice is dealing with short-term depressive episodes, not chronic depression.

Here are four things that help me cope with depressive episodes.

1. Get dressed and make your bed.

Even if you don't have any plans besides staying home all day in a depressive puddle, doing these two small things helps put me into a more productive mindset.

Realizing I've been in my room all day, with blankets, snacks, and my laptop just thrown across the bed and myself still dressed in pajama pants at 5 p.m. usually makes me feel worse. It makes me feel like I'm just wasting away in my room rather than doing something with my life.

Getting dressed and making my bed sets me up for a more productive day.

2. Watch a feel-good movie or TV show.

My go-to's are usually the movie "Mamma Mia" and the TV show "Psych."

Saying laughing can cure depression would be completely ridiculous, but laughing does make it more bearable. Watching something funny and uplifting helps remove you from the despair that you feel like your life's currently in and reminds you it's not all bad.

3. Dive into your work.

Whether it's school or a job (or both), ignoring your responsibilities can make you feel worse in the long run, since it adds more stress on to you in the future. Also, working on something else can serve as a distraction.

Yes, it is harder to focus when depressed, but you need to push through it and force yourself sometimes so that you don't let this disease impact your day-to-day life.

4. Don't think too much about why you're depressed.

Questioning why you feel the way you do is best left in therapy.

Asking yourself things like "What caused this?", "Why did my mood suddenly shift?", and "Was it because of so-and-so?" can lead to really destructive thought spirals.

These thought spirals could lead you to believe that something that definitely didn't cause your depression in fact has.

It's easier to accept that sometimes mental health problems come without any kind of warning.

Don't focus too much on the "why" of it. Getting through it should be your main priority.

Instead, focus on how you will get better eventually. Even if it seems impossible at the moment, you will feel good again.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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