Dear Couples,

Welcome to your ultimate third wheel guide from a professional third wheel! Having a third wheel in your relationship is a lot like having a house guest. You and your partner have to make them feel welcomed. Third wheels constantly worry about intruding on your date or fear that you and your partner may think they are annoying. It's you and your partner's job to make your third wheel feel invited. If they are truly your friend, you would not want them to feel unwanted. Here is my ultimate guide on how to care for your third wheel!

1. Identifying Your Third Wheel

There are many kinds of third wheels and it is very important to know what kind you are dealing with. By identifying the kind of third wheel, you and your partner can figure out the best situation for the problem.

The worst third wheel is being an invisible third wheel. Whenever you are so in love, you forget about the third person that is also there. This third wheel is not a specific person, rather, it's a situation that you and your partner constantly put other people in. Soon, you start losing your friends because they feel like an invisible third wheel.

Is it, the wingman third wheel? This third wheel started off as your wingman but as soon as you and your partner started dating, they never left. You don't want to tell them to leave because they did set you and your partner up. You often feel like you owe your wingman third wheel, so you invite them to join you and your partner on your date.

Or do you have a bestie third wheel? You, your partner, and your bestie third wheel used to be a trio. At one point, you all may have nicknamed your group "The Three Musketeers." But, the Three Musketeers became a couple and a third wheel. You are so used to hanging out as a trio, that it feels odd for you and your partner to not invite your bestie third wheel along. And when you don't invite your bestie third wheel, your bestie third wheel feels left out.

Maybe, you purposely want a third wheel to be on your date. Thus, the buffer third wheel! Usually, this happens when you are in relationship troubles and want to avoid a fight with your partner. In order to avoid alone time with your partner, you invite a friend to join you on your date. The buffer usually is unaware of what is going on, but soon picks up on it due to the tension in the room. They may feel used or hurt by this.

Sometimes, a couple will invite a third wheel together. This is because you are inviting a pity third wheel. The pity third wheel is invited because you both feel sorry for them. Usually, it's because they are single. Throughout the date, you both will try to set the pity third wheel up on dates with random strangers.

Lastly, is the unwanted third wheel. They are usually a clingy BFF who is used to their friends being single, and are having a hard time with you both dating each other. Similar to the bestie third wheel, except you and your partner want alone time. You and your partner are constantly scared that your unwanted third wheel will invite themselves along. So, you both keep your relationship hidden.

2. Balancing Your Friendship

The third wheel understands that you and your partner will be closer to each other than with them. The third wheel is not jealous of your relationship. They are probably very happy that you and your partner are together. Most of the time, the third wheel just wants to feel like you are happy that they are there. If your third wheel is only friends with one member of your relationship, have the other member work on befriending the third wheel. This can make the third wheel feel less awkward when the three of you hang out.

Also, do not only side with your partner. If the third wheel makes a suggestion that you agree with, let your partner know. These third wheel dates should not be all about you and your partner. There is a third person there and if they are your friend, they should also matter to you as well. Lastly, spend some alone time with just you and your third wheel. Do not always invite your partner just because you think that your third wheel won't mind.

3. Balancing Your Relationship

It is very thrilling that you and your partner are in love! Your third wheel is very happy that you two are in a healthy relationship. Hand holding and kissing is perfectly fine but too much PDA can leave your third wheel feeling awkward. They probably do not want to sound rude by telling you both to stop making out in front of them. While doing research on third wheels, I read a story about a third wheel who had to pretend to be asleep while her couple friends had sex IN THE SAME ROOM AS HER! That is too extreme for any third wheel. It is perfectly fine to act like a couple on your private date but if you have a third wheel tagging along, try acting more like friends with your partner.

4. Picking Group Activities

There are some activities that you, your partner, and your third wheel should not do together. You and your partner may love going to a particular romantic restaurant together but do not bring your third wheel. Yes, your third wheel may love the place but that does not mean that they want to go there with you and your partner.

Think about the fun you have with your friends when your partner is not there. Is it shopping, bowling, the movies, or an art museum? You can do all those fun things with you, your partner, and your third wheel! Also, remember the payment. You may want to pay for your partner but not your third wheel. That can be awkward when splitting the bill. Try to figure out with your partner on how you will split things before your third wheel date.

Lastly, think about activities that involve pairing up. Maybe you three want to go to Six Flags. That is fun until your third wheel is sitting next to a stranger while you and your partner sit next to each other on a two row ride. Remember to include your third wheel. They do not want to feel like they are interrupting your date.

5. Fighting With Your Partner

Your relationship drama does not involve your third wheel. Yet, so many third wheels get involved. Do not fight with your partner in front of your third wheel. Also, do not ask your third wheel to pick sides. Your third wheel wants to be friends with both of you. Having your third wheel pick as side is unfair to them. Do not tell your third wheel big secrets or fight stories. That puts them in a weird place. Also, do not trash talk your partner to your third wheel. Lastly, if you plan on dumping your partner, do not tell your third wheel about your plan. Any issues in your relationship, is between you and your partner only.

6. Setting Up Your Third Wheel

Believe it or not, not all third wheels want to be in a relationship. Some third wheels may even be dating already! Either way, you should not try to set up your third wheel if they are single unless they asked you to. A surprise double date is not a fair thing to do to someone. A person is not "broken" because they are single, and it's not you or your partner's job to try and "fix" your third wheel. Let your third wheel be single on their own. Do not constantly remind them or make them feel bad for being single.

Also, do not try and invite your third wheel to a threesome. This would ruin your friendship and dramatically change everything. It is just a bad idea and something that should never be done.

In conclusion, there are many things that you and your partner can do in order to make your third wheel feel more welcomed when you, your partner, and your third wheel all hang out! Once you and your partner work to make your third wheel feel more welcome, your third wheel will realize and appreciate you both even more. Some of the best experiences I've had are with my couple friends. Dates can be fun, but the more the merrier!

Love,

Your professional third wheel ♥