I’m Not A Whore For Wanting Guy Friends While Having A Boyfriend

I’m Not A Whore For Wanting Guy Friends While Having A Boyfriend

"A girl can be friends with someone with a d*ck and not hop on it" - Ariana Grande.


I remember a time when a girl could have as many guy friends as possible without being judged: elementary school. Yet, as soon as we got a little bit older, it looks bad if a girl has too many guy friends. What looks even worse is when a girl who already has a boyfriend hangs out with other guys or tries to make more guy friends.

But I didn't intend for this piece to be about the different standards men and women are held to. I just think this topic is worth writing about because it's something I can relate to; it's so hard to be a girl in a relationship with a desire to make new guy friends and maintain those friendships.

The majority of my guy friends are my boyfriend's close friends. I spend so much time with them and each one of them has a special place in my heart even though their guy talk can be a little offputting and they don't know how to clean their apartment. They also think beer cans make good decorations.

Coming into my sophomore year, one of my goals was to venture out of my immediate friend group and to make more friends. I don't think its unreasonable that I wanted to expand and make guy friends out of my boyfriend's friend group.

However, whenever I try to meet new guy friends, it seems as if they always think I'm interested in something more than being just friends. Most single guys don't understand that a coupled-up girl may want to become their friend and nothing more. Some of them are so quick to assume that if she's not Snapchatting her boyfriend or a guy she's already close friends with, she's unhappy in her relationship and wants to hook up.

The only time I Snapchat a guy I'm not already friends with is when I'm replying to a Snapchat they sent me first; I'm too afraid to Snapchat a guy I'm not already close with because I know he'll think I want to be more than casual acquaintances or friends. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing in the selfie I reply back or what I write as my caption because they're going to think I'm flirting regardless.

Why do guys jump to these conclusions? I have no idea. Perhaps it's because a few flirty girls got bored and cheated on their boyfriends, ruining it for the rest of us, loyal ladies. There's some rational part inside me that knows that not all guys are like this. Yet, it's still so upsetting when a guy you thought was going to be your friend starts to make you feel bad for keeping things platonic.

It's even worse when people, such as his group of friends, start to judge you for "being a tease" and "leading him on" when this wasn't your intention. Women receive so much judgment on a regular basis, so it's disappointing that something as simple as trying to make a new friend of the opposite sex adds to this scrutiny.

I understand that some girls who are already dating feel the need to Snapchat and DM single (or taken) guys because they want to fool around or feel flirty. Guys are known for doing this while being in a relationship, too. It's just so frustrating that these promiscuous assumptions get in the way of a genuine friendship a faithful girl could have with a really nice guy.

Bottom line: if a girl who's already dating someone starts talking to you, don't jump to the conclusion that she wants you for a hook up she can mess around with when her boyfriend's busy. She may just be looking for a new friend. That doesn't sound too unbelievable, does it?

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I Know She's My Forever Friend

A forever friend is one of the most important people in your world.

The bond that my forever friend and I have is something that I do not have with any other person in the world. This is a list of ways you know that you have a forever friend:

You never get tired of being around her

She is probably the only person in your life that hasn't begun to bother you for some reason or another, at some point in time. You could spend hours, or days, with her. Even the smallest things you do together are fun because you are with her.

No subject is off-limits

You tell each other everything, and I mean, everything.

Thinking about seeing each other over break

And of course, when you do see her

Your family is her family, and her family is yours

It's not weird for you to be at her house all the time, show up at strange hours, or just decide to spend the night even though you live three houses away. And of course, her family welcomes you in like you are another one of their daughters.

You two have a bizarre sense of humor that only you understand

Whether it is the nights you spend watching random YouTube videos at 2 a.m. that make you both laugh so hard you cry or the commercials on TV that are only funny to the both of you, only you guys understand the humor in certain situations. You have probably experienced some of the most embarrassing moments together, and if not together, then you got a vivid story of the event.

You have no filter when she is being overdramatic

You pick up where you left off

If you and your forever friend are anything like me and mine, we do not talk every single day. You may only speak once a week, but it will give you the opportunity to catch up and talk like you have talked every single day. There may be quick conversations to see how the other is doing because you know you are saving all of the important stories for when you see each other again. At this point, conversations don't even start with "Hi" anymore, you just jump right to the point and tell her what you need to.

You really don't have a choice when she needs to go to the mall

She would do anything to make you smile

Even when you are feeling down, your forever friend knows just the right thing to do to make you happy again. Whatever the case is, she will be there for you always. She will say, and do, just about anything that will make everything better.

And sometimes she just needs a reminder…

Cover Image Credit: PopSugar

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Colton's Season Of 'The Bachelor' Has Made Me Fear Unrequited Love

And I haven't seen the finale yet, so don't spoil it!

Heart Tugs

I'll be the first to admit that I bawled during Cassie's breakup with Colton on live television. And as much as I wanted to know what happened, as much as I knew America was dying to discover how Colton could continue after such a declaration, I felt so sad that fifteen cameras followed him around during his most vulnerable moments.

Picture this: Your crush has somehow wormed their way into your heart so now you are just full-out in love with this person. Like move mountains, cross valleys, jump a fence in love. You are SO beyond excited to tell them how you feel! This is your future, your hopes, and dreams. Everything rolled up into one person. But they don't feel the same. And so naturally, you're crushed. Absolutely floored and vulnerable beyond belief at a circumstance you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. And sitting right in front of you, next to this person who is trying to make up for not loving you back quite enough, there are fifteen gazillion black cameras watching, calculating, catching your every move.

No wonder he jumped that fence.

A Certain Brand of Love

Unrequited love seems to be one of the most devastating forms of the powerful emotion, though who am I to talk. I've never been in love unless my dog or KJ Apa counts. But seeing the pain so vividly brought to life with the shaking of a man on the screen and a visceral reaction of running away and escaping the heartache is scary, to say the least. But I think any form of love, even the unrequited variety, though it can bear great heartbreak, also has a certain type of beauty within it. As someone who has never been in love, I think that it is still a beautiful thing to have a beating broken heart, though a beating heart in requited love would be even brighter.

A broken heart shows the vulnerability, the pure depths of emotion that human beings can endure. If one human can feel something so strongly for another human that they send away all other options and fight for that love even with the knowledge that the other person "might just not be that into you" (great line, Chris. Not harsh at all), then that shows just how powerful love can be. This type of love shows strength in the human heart. In human resolve.

In humanity.

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