I’m Not A Whore For Wanting Guy Friends While Having A Boyfriend

I’m Not A Whore For Wanting Guy Friends While Having A Boyfriend

"A girl can be friends with someone with a d*ck and not hop on it" - Ariana Grande.

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I remember a time when a girl could have as many guy friends as possible without being judged: elementary school. Yet, as soon as we got a little bit older, it looks bad if a girl has too many guy friends. What looks even worse is when a girl who already has a boyfriend hangs out with other guys or tries to make more guy friends.

But I didn't intend for this piece to be about the different standards men and women are held to. I just think this topic is worth writing about because it's something I can relate to; it's so hard to be a girl in a relationship with a desire to make new guy friends and maintain those friendships.

The majority of my guy friends are my boyfriend's close friends. I spend so much time with them and each one of them has a special place in my heart even though their guy talk can be a little offputting and they don't know how to clean their apartment. They also think beer cans make good decorations.

Coming into my sophomore year, one of my goals was to venture out of my immediate friend group and to make more friends. I don't think its unreasonable that I wanted to expand and make guy friends out of my boyfriend's friend group.

However, whenever I try to meet new guy friends, it seems as if they always think I'm interested in something more than being just friends. Most single guys don't understand that a coupled-up girl may want to become their friend and nothing more. Some of them are so quick to assume that if she's not Snapchatting her boyfriend or a guy she's already close friends with, she's unhappy in her relationship and wants to hook up.

The only time I Snapchat a guy I'm not already friends with is when I'm replying to a Snapchat they sent me first; I'm too afraid to Snapchat a guy I'm not already close with because I know he'll think I want to be more than casual acquaintances or friends. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing in the selfie I reply back or what I write as my caption because they're going to think I'm flirting regardless.

Why do guys jump to these conclusions? I have no idea. Perhaps it's because a few flirty girls got bored and cheated on their boyfriends, ruining it for the rest of us, loyal ladies. There's some rational part inside me that knows that not all guys are like this. Yet, it's still so upsetting when a guy you thought was going to be your friend starts to make you feel bad for keeping things platonic.

It's even worse when people, such as his group of friends, start to judge you for "being a tease" and "leading him on" when this wasn't your intention. Women receive so much judgment on a regular basis, so it's disappointing that something as simple as trying to make a new friend of the opposite sex adds to this scrutiny.

I understand that some girls who are already dating feel the need to Snapchat and DM single (or taken) guys because they want to fool around or feel flirty. Guys are known for doing this while being in a relationship, too. It's just so frustrating that these promiscuous assumptions get in the way of a genuine friendship a faithful girl could have with a really nice guy.

Bottom line: if a girl who's already dating someone starts talking to you, don't jump to the conclusion that she wants you for a hook up she can mess around with when her boyfriend's busy. She may just be looking for a new friend. That doesn't sound too unbelievable, does it?

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I Ghosted My Old Self For 5 Months In An Effort To Reevaluate My Life

My life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

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BREAKING (not fake) NEWS: It's true, you have to hit your lowest before hitting your highest.

I want to share my lowest with you, and I'm almost ashamed to say it had nothing to do with the loss of both of my parents. I like to think I handled that like a warrior.

Turns out I didn't, and the hurt I've been burying from that hit me all at once, the same moment my life fell apart faster than a drunk dude approaching a Jenga stack.

My life flipped upside down overnight back in August. I had my heart broken shattered, lost two very important friendships that I thought were with me until the end, lost my 9-5 job, my health took a hit stronger than a boulder, and I was absolutely lost. For the first time, ever, I let go of the reigns on my own life. I had no idea how to handle myself, how to make anyone around me happy, how to get out of bed or how to even begin the process of trying to process what the f*ck just happened. I was terrified.

Coming from the girl who never encountered a dilemma she couldn't fix instantaneously, on her own, with no emotional burden. I was checked out from making my life better. So I didn't try. I didn't even think about thinking about trying.

The only relatively understandable way I could think to deal with anything was to not deal with anything. And that's exactly what I did. And it was f*cking amazing.

I went into hiding for a week, then went on a week getaway with my family, regained that feeling of being loved unconditionally, and realized that's all I need. They are all I need. Friends? Nah. Family. Only. Always.

On that vacation, I got a call from the school district that they wanted me in for an interview the day I come home. It was for a position that entailed every single class, combined, that I took in my college career. It was a career that I had just gotten my degree for three months before.

I came home and saw my doctor and got a health plan in order. I was immediately thrown into the month-long hiring process for work. I made it a point to make sunset every single night, alone, to make sure I was mentally caught up and in-check at the same exact speed that my life was turning. I was not about to lose my control again. Not ever.

Since August, I have spent more time with family than ever. I've read over 10 new books, I've discovered so much new music, I went on some of my best, the worst and funniest first dates, I made true, loyal friends that cause me zero stress while completely drowning me in overwhelming amounts of love and support, I got back into yoga, and I started that job and damn near fell more in love with it than I ever was for the guy I lost over the summer.

But most importantly, I changed my mindset. I promised myself to not say a single sentence that has a negative tone to it. I promised myself to think three times before engaging in any type of personal conversation. I promised myself to wake up in a good mood every damn day because I'm alive and that is the only factor I should need to be happy.

Take it from a girl who knew her words were weapons and used them frequently before deciding to turn every aspect of her life into positivity — even in the midst of losing one of my closest family members. I have been told multiple times, by people so dear to me that I'm "glowing." You know what I said back? F*ck yes I am, and I deserve to.

I am so happy with myself and it has nothing to do with the things around me. It's so much deeper than that, and I'm beaming with pride. Of myself. For myself.

I want to leave you with these thoughts that those people who have hurt me, left me, and loved me through these last couple of months have taught me

Growth is sometimes a lonely process.
Some things go too deep to ever be forgotten.
You need to give yourself the permission to be happy right now.
You outgrow people you thought you couldn't live without, and you're not the one to blame for that. You're growing.
Sometimes it takes your break down to reach your breakthrough.

Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

My god, it's so f*cking good.

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If You Would Leave Your Significant Other If They Didn’t Have A Dollar To Their Name, It’s Not True Love

Money will get you anything you want, unless it's a fairy tale romance.

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We have all heard about the Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos split. Jeff Bezos's fortune amounts to 140 BILLION dollars. With that money, he could have bought absolutely anything in the world that he wanted. I mean, what would you choose to buy with that wealth? However, in the end, the one thing he couldn't buy was, clearly, a happy marriage.

Let's take a moment to imagine that you jump into the future 50 years. What aspects of your life are you reflecting on?

Are you thinking about the outfits you wore, the status you showed off with your nice car, and all the money you had to spend on things you wanted?

Or are you measuring the quality of your life through the relationships you had with others? Maybe, most significantly, a romantic relationship?

If you've turned on the radio recently, you'll know that it's no secret that one thing almost everyone desires the MOST is true love.

Our society has learned to laugh at that notion, saying that companionate/ realistic love is really the only type of romance people get in real life.

So what do we do? We turn to money. It fills all the emotional voids we have in our unfulfilling lives. Yes, our unfulfilling lives. If you were satisfied with every aspect of your life, there would be no need for spending money aside from survival essentials.

When you turn your back on the idea of true love because you deem it "unreal" and turn to money, you may as well call yourself Alexander Hamilton because you are setting yourself up for a long life of feeling unsatisfied. Because, the truth is, fairy tale romances do actually exist.

But money will never buy it for you.

In fact, it may distract you and create the illusion of true love. Just because you enjoy the fancy gifts, homes, and trips someone can provide you does not mean you are absolutely, truly, head over heels in love with them.

If you wouldn't be with your partner if they didn't have a dollar to their name, it's not true love.

You can't pay for someone to truly love you, and extravagant gifts will never buy someone's love, just their comfort.

So if you can't buy love, how do you get it?

You've been hearing this since grade school, but getting your priorities straight is a MUST.

Work is important, and earning a salary is necessary. But work and money should never be what is most important in life, and you should never prioritize money above a significant other.

Finding the person you are meant to be with takes time, and maintaining the love between the two of you is no simple task.

Always put your significant other ahead of any desire of yours. Their needs should always come first, and for them, your needs will always come first.

It's the little things that keep people madly in love, not something money can buy.

The conversations you have with each other from the heart, the extra burden you put on yourself one day to allow your significant other to sleep in, or the meal you prepare for them so they have one less thing to worry about. The little, everyday things remind your S/O that they mean the world to you. Not the amount of money they're willing to spend for you.

So next time you're counting up your money to see if you have enough to afford the next new fun thing you want, consider how worthless it actually is to the quality of your life.

Love will bring your life value. Money will you bring you materials.

Don't settle for someone you're comfortable with. Find that person you would be with if they didn't have a dime in the world because that person will make you happier than any amount of money or materials ever could.

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