Let's talk about first dates. Sometimes they're great, sometimes they're not, but sometimes they're amazing. Navigating the dating world can be scary, and navigating the dating world after a major break up can be even scarier. It's hard to put yourself back out there after a long time of focusing on yourself. The nerves are crazy. The excitement is unreal. Sometimes the pre-date jitters heighten all those emotions and can cause you to ask yourself some ridiculous questions. Well, you are not alone because I am guilty of having all the "what ifs" constantly in my head.
1. What if I do/say the wrong thing?
This is a major thing that I struggle with. I always want to make a great first impression and can lose sight of myself. What I have learned, though, is just be you! It can be hard to be undeniably yourself in front of someone you're just starting to date, but always remember being you is your superpower. Sure, there are some things that you want to hold back at first but pay attention to who you are around that person and if you like yourself around them. If you can't be yourself around them, is it even worth it? Life is too short to waste your time being anything but you because YOU are amazing. The person you're with should see that too.
2. What if he isn't as excited as I am for this date?
He is. End of story. Yes, boys can be hard to read, but they are human, too! More than likely, they are just as nervous/excited as you are (if not more). Girl, you are awesome and if he isn't just as excited as you, boy bye. You are a rock star and deserve someone who is going to get excited to see you the first, second, third, and 1,000th time.
3. What if I'm not the only one he's interested in?
"Oh, he probably likes someone else, too." Sound familiar? I think that this is the most frequent question I wonder about before a first date and even at the start of something new. It's hard to not think so after being burned from a past relationship. Don't let the fear of the past break something good before it's even started. My advice is to trust that you are the only person in your date's life. Trust is a huge factor in a relationship. If you're already having a hard time trusting him from the beginning, what are you even doing?
4. What if this is the one?
The MOST pressure filled question around dating. Going out on a first date can be scary for many reasons, and I think that this is one of the scariest things. I would love to get married one day, but this question before a first date makes my heart race and not the good kind because that is a pressure-packed thing. Sometimes, I wish that I wouldn't ask myself this because then that puts so much pressure on someone and they don't even know it. Also, how the heck do you even know? Or, do you even know by the first date? In my mind, finding "the one" will be like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but is it really?
These are all questions that I want to know by the time I go on a first date, but patience is key. Try to let everything happen and that'll take some of the pressure off! Most importantly, have a good time, and if you don't you'll have a new story to tell "the one" when you do meet them.