Swimmers are a whole other species of athletes. It takes two ways to truly understand what the swimming world is like; that's to either strap on the suit yourself or to date one.
This one's for you, you swimming sleazes, speedo smoke shows, chlorine chasers and goggle Googlers. May we stick together through all the quirks and unknown trials that come with dating our beloved chlorine-scented babes.
1. The chlorine scent is embedded In their DNA at this point.
Yeah you know how your friends brag about that manly smell that their boyfriends/FWB/male suiters have? Feel free to accept the fact that that will never be your reality. You want to cuddle, spoon, even just sit on the same couch as them? Totes fine but you better be ready to take some deep whiffs of chlorine and bleach, little lady.
2. Speaking of chlorine, you better be ready to sit for hours in an aquatic center.
Be ready to wait two hours to watch roughly forty seconds of swimming, trying not to fall asleep because it's 9:30 in the morning of a prelim/final meet on a Saturday. Grin and bear it ya'll, grin and bear it. 
3. And those race times completely confusing the shit out of you
What's a second to a non-swimmer nbd, just a simple unit of time that means nothing. To your swimmer? The difference between 50.42, and a 49.59 is the difference between having a cranky boyfriend and a happy boyfriend. That second is everything to you now, you need that second, that second is the difference between silver and gold.
4. Your new favorite word? TAPER.
Yeah that's right. Tapered Boyfriend = Happy Girlfriend. It means the practices have started to lighten up, morning practices have stopped and your boyfriend is about to swim fast. Fast Times = Happy Boyfriend = All is well in the world.
5. But with that taper comes a shaved man.
Contrary to belief, a swimmer only shaves when they're being tapered (most of the time), to trim off that extra time. So ladies get ready for your boyfriend to have smoother legs, smoother armpits, smoother arms, smoother everything, than you.
6. Underneath those tight, toned bods and rockin' abs is an extra stomach...or maybe a hollow limb.
Any concept you have of a large meal, throw out the window. You do not know a large meal until you've broke bread with a swimmer. "Hey Babe want to make me a snack?" you better be ready to prepare a glorious, seven-course meal. Your pantry? Always empty. They want to take you out to eat? You better starve yourself for two days to be able to keep up. Ordering pizza? Your Treat? Better be ready to sell a small child on the black market my friend. 
7. Bedtime's 8 p.m. and you better be ready to be woken up at 5 a.m.
All your girlfriends and sorority sisters are going out to the bar on Friday night? You're watching the snaps from his bed because he's got 6 a.m. practice the next day and he had two practices today and he's snoring in your arms and you're a supportive girlfriend, dammit. FOMO just comes with the territory ladies. 
8. You can now say you're fluent in a foreign language. Congrats.
On the fastest interval. Dolphin kick. Taper. 1x 400 pull. Underwaters. Descend Set. Off the block. Fins. Negative split. Even split. Short course. Long course. Pullout. Butterfly. Breast stroke. Back stroke.
You may or may not learn the real meanings of all these terms. You may or may not just pretend like you do. You may or may not just tune out whenever he brings them up in conversation. I wonder what I'll have for dinner tonight...
9. You've developed thick skin and a sick sense of confidence.
You're used to the up-down, eye sex looks he gets in public, and what once made you pounce like jealous puma, you soon learn to love, even provoke maybe? *Grabs his butt, nibbles his ear.* Because you're dating him -- eat your hearts out ladies -- he's taken. Aside from girls' sex glares, your boyfriend's also going to be around girls with suits up their asses 99.99 percent of the time. You'll learn that if he's dating you he's not into that swimcest nonsense; he's totally digging your non-swimmer label.
10. You're a part of a huge swim family.
You know everyone's parents, grandparents, sisters, brothers. And your boyfriends teammates? You're just as close with them as he is. They're there to celebrate with you when he does well, and help you understand how to talk to him when he doesn't. It's like marrying into one insane, all-up-in-your-business family, but lord knows you would claim them in a heartbeat.
Although dating a swimmer comes with its own manual, you know you wouldn't trade it in for the world. There's nothing better than being held by those massively long arms and wide shoulders. You secretly love the smell of the chlorine and how there's always someone who's up for having three dinners, ice cream and a nap date after.
To all the girls out there not dating swimmers. Bless your heart.
