How did we go from awkwardly approaching someone we found interesting and engaging in conversation, to swiping left and asking "what that mouth do" behind a cell phone screen? What happened to knocking on your date's door with flowers, nervous and eager to meet the father and hoping to God you make a good impression? Fear plays an interesting role in everyone's lives, but the one thing you should never be afraid of is the person you can see yourself spending eternity with.
The only true constant in life is change, everything is constantly changing and if you can't keep up with the times you could be labeled as lame, but that doesn't have to apply to everything. When it comes to love, all is fair, but searching for love and searching for lust are two totally different things. Everyone has become so infatuated with lust, no one cares if you have a killer vibe or a good personality, if you don’t have a jawline that could cut down trees or a booty like Nikki Minaj, you're just not worth it these days. People like to base their first impressions on how many followers you have, not who you are as a person. Apps like Tinder are a great way to meet new friends, but when searching for the other half to your soul, you're going to have to look a little further than the phone in your hand.
If you see an interesting person, or someone you find attractive, simply go up to them and start a conversation. See if they posses the basic human qualities to be asked out on a date; dinner and a movie never killed anyone. Bring them flowers, even if you stopped a block away and picked them from a neighboring yard, and don't honk or text that you're there, go up and knock on the door like an adult. The hard part is over, now all you have to worry about is being yourself and seeing if this first date can be your last first date. Everything in the world could go wrong, even if you can't catch this one, you can hold your head high and keep on searching for your better half knowing there's one less person you have to go through. That's the amazing thing about “dating;” you're not tied down to any specific someone, you're simply on the hunt for your person, and you can't find them by not looking every which way that you can, so you date around. You ask to take people out, play mini golf or attend a baseball game, just a night where the two of you can get to know each other and figure out if you're right for each other. This doesn't necessarily mean you have to sleep with every person you take out or go out with, a kiss on the cheek goes a long way after a night filled with smiles and laughter. When you have finally found the only someone you want to take out for the rest of your days, you ask them to take the next step, become exclusive and go on from there. So many people jump right into the boyfriend/girlfriend stage of a relationship, without even knowing their partner's middle name. Take your time, ask questions, learn about one another and then see if this is the person that will take you off the market.
Looks fade with time, becoming old, grey and wrinkly is inevitable. The way someone reacts to good news or tells you to drive safe because the roads are icy, those aspects of a person are forever; personality is forever. You could be dating the most cut-up gym rat on the West Coast, but while he’s “DMing his side chicks” there's a guy right behind him that would have given you the world, and you couldn't even give them the time of day. All because they only had a hundred followers on Twitter and couldn't rock the cutoff, or because her thighs touched or she was cup size too small. All these shallow, inconsiderate presumptions about someone you don't even know, someone who could be the father of your children, the love of your life - but you can't get past these meaningless, physical structures society has placed on outer beauty to find out. Everyone is beautiful and unique, if physical appearance matters that much to you then drag them into the gym with you and get fit together. You can easily teach someone how to loose weight or gain some muscle, teaching someone to be a good person doesn’t come as easily.
Next time you see someone you find attractive or interesting, go up to them and say hello. Ask them their name, tell them yours and if it feels right, ask them to dinner, or coffee, or even just a walk in the park. If they say no, simply smile and go on with your day, no love lost and no love found. True love doesn't see color, or size, it sees its counterpoint in another and spreads like wildfire, something you cannot find without going out and exploring. Be true to who you are and never settle for anything less than your worth. You don't need to be the person with a million followers to find love, you just need to be the best you that you can be so when the right person comes along, they can see you for who you are and fall in love with everything that is you.
