In a world of love and sex, partaking in mating rituals occurs often and is expected. When people hit a certain age and their hormones have kicked in, they seek to find companionship in others, often a romantic partner. In other words, they start dating. However, there is another option that is not as often spoken of and is not often understood: courtship.

What is the difference? Often, these terms are used either interchangeably or the latter is viewed as an archaic concept or term to describe a more modern equivalent. However, this is a wrong conception, for the two are related but not the same.

Dating, or casual dating, is conventionally when two people form a romantic relationship because of mutual attraction and to engage in romantic gestures with their partner. There can be many reasons for why someone would start dating. It could be because of social pressure, a want to not be single, or because the person genuinely interests you enough for you to want to get to know them better.

Courtship, on the other hand, is a goal-oriented arrangement where two people form a relationship with the intent to determine marriageability.

In other words, the end goal is marriage, and the two seek to determine whether they are compatible and, hopefully, in love.

Dating can leave a lot of room for ambiguity. Sometimes, two strangers go on a date and decide to make it a frequent occurrence or an official pairing. However, the two's goals may not align. What do they call each other? Is marriage on the table? Are they exclusive? Do they want to have kids? The relationship continues based on the whims of the participants and can abruptly end without warning or because of loss of interest.

Courtship is built on the idea of communication from the get-go, and it is understood to be exclusive and that both people hope for marriage but understand that the other person may not be the one in the end though they would be glad if they were. If the arrangement was not working out, the two would talk it out and mutually decide to end it or determine what would need to be done to improve or repair what is malfunctioning.

Dating is generally just between the two people involved where outsiders, like loved ones and friends, are only included distantly by the two partners through word of mouth or mutual gatherings. Courtship is a community arrangement where trusted individuals are involved from the beginning, tasked with the role of monitors in a sort, expected to function as unbiased observers who can guide the two partners or speak up when they notice something the two may not.

Dating and courtship can overlap, but the latter is built to prevent misunderstanding that can lead to hurt feelings in the end. Breaking up, of course, will sting, but the goodwill of the partners softens the blow because both genuinely wish the other well and hope that they will have better luck next time.

I am one who wishes to enter into a Christian courtship which is a conventional courtship that heavily involves God. My partner and I would be seeking to determine not only to fall in love but to see if we can help each other grow in our faith because feelings could be ephemeral but our beliefs are a deeply founded part of our identity. Even if we were in love, if we were bad for each other, the courtship would have to end because we hold more stock in our relationship with God than we do with each other. Also, a Christian courtship involves the participation of a pastor and, sometimes, members of the church.

I personally view this as a sort of preemptive measure against heartbreak.

It's not that I don't believe my heart will never be broken this way, but I am a sensitive individual who would easily be crushed by the casual way some people pair up and break off. I am an all in person, so if I were to take the risk of investing my all enough to care for someone else, I would find comfort in the fact that they would never seek to intentionally hurt me for any reason. It could happen, but we are not just in it for the company, we are in it for a life partner.