Modern romance used to be cool, till we ruined it.
That phrase might seem kind of stupid. More like it used to be stupid because we all love to reinvent what romance is. What is romance? By definition: "a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love", according to Merriam-Webster's dictionary. By that definition, we feel we should follow into that particular line of fire, which is going on adventures and being a little dangerous. Maybe that is what young love is, but when is young not enough anymore?
Welcome to Dating 101! Here you will learn about how to get into a relationship, what you should do in one, and how to keep it going for awhile. If I am being honest, I don't know much about relationships. They are kind of an enigma, or at least, they used to be, especially in high school. High school is that weird time where you are starting to find yourself, but are still influenced by teenage things and giving into pressures not seen before. This is all the stuff parents try sheltering you from but you will mostly get sucked into something that you didn't expect. Well for me, it was never dating. I had friends who were admired for simply being pretty, nothing else. It wasn't that didn't have great qualities or personalities, but that isn't what high school boys look at, is it? Even I am not that daft to know that high school boys like hating on girls for one thing, looks. Today, I still see some boys who haven't turned into men, college boys who still do this. These boys think they are impressing their friends and themselves when they make fun of a young woman in college, but they are hurting their chances of catching a second date with anyone. In high school, you can choose to be someone you aren't and I saw that a lot more than I saw originality. For me, a few guys might have noticed me, but I wasn't exactly the prettiest girl there. I didn't try to be, but yes I did have my moments of insecurity where I wanted to be. That hurts, realizing you aren't the prettiest girl in the room, even sometimes you feel like you are. It might be your best friend that is and that hurts because jealousy of friends is never a good thing.
Most of my friends didn't date in high school. We all stayed in a tight knit group and that was great. No distractions from guys and we could all hang out when we wanted to. Then a few started dating and I saw the guys as a distraction and almost a nuisance. I didn't want to think of them like that, but in my head, they were. Some friends would go through three boyfriends in two years, which for some reason, sounded excessive. I didn't judge because I had never experienced a guy try to do more than say a nice compliment then walk away. So here we are, at the stage at the end of high school where people start to grow up and real life dating is here to stay.
Here we are, in college now. Most of us know that friends with benefits is as popular as having a boyfriend/girlfriend. I have seen both work out in great lengths and others walk out in shame. Modern dating tells us that hook up culture is where we are at now, that having a relationship is a thing of the past. We have now looked past drive in movies and burger shops and now look at Netflix and chill. There is nothing wrong with not dating anyone and just having fun, don't get me wrong. But my point is that when one is trying to find a relationship or simply wants to be in one, they might get the short end of the stick. I know more people not in a relationship then people in them. Relationships are complicated, I can see why some are turned off to it. Relationships are VERY hard. When I say hard, I mean that they can be hard to keep up with and maintain. Back in the day, I feel it wasn't so complicated as it is today. Today social media is king and when we judge and learned to be judged based on our looks alone, it can lead to false alarms.
Starting a relationship in modern hookup culture is finding someone who shares your interests. I found a guy who wanted the same thing as me, a real, meaningful, going full force relationship. I always tell everyone who asks how I have stayed in a relationship for two years(in a month:)) that it isn't hard! Yeah we fight but we haven't given up on each other. That leads me to my point. College kids these days know how to get up and leave. They give up on people and settle, which in my opinion is a waste of knowing someone. You left someone because you couldn't handle their baggage or they couldn't handle you. It is denial if you believe that isn't true because look around, do you see the examples of your friends or people you know who just proved my point?
How to stay in a relationship? TALK. I swear people don't talk enough these days and don't blame it on a busy schedule. A quick ten minute convo can do wonders for a relationship if people just opened themselves up a little. Can you imagine not talking to your boyfriend/girlfriend? I can't because I talk to mine several times a day, which sounds excessive but long distance is another battle. That's how you keep in a relationship. Have fun, do things you wished as a single person that you could do with someone you like or even love, be yourself, no makeup and all, and be kind to one another. This could be for life and just because divorces look like a common thing nowadays, that is up to the individual to do that. Mindset is everything and when you put your mind to it, you can have an amazing relationship.
