I recently read somewhere that the reason there is so much trouble when it comes to dating is because women tend to focus on the future of a relationship, while men see the relationship only for what it is at that time.

It's human nature. The idea of love and being loved takes a different toll on women. We imagine what it would be like to love that other person. We imagine what it would be like show them off to our family and friends, introduce them to all aspects of our lives, and do “couple” things together. We're constantly chasing these dreams and ideas we create. We know these things are in the realm of possibility, but we just can't always seem to get to them. When we're young it's called "hide and seek" and as we get older, dating becomes very similar.

In my short dating life, I have known this to be incredibly true.

I become invested very quickly in a relationship which, I believe if with the right person, is not always a bad thing.

Unfortunately, I have yet to find this person.

I hold on so tight because it's sometimes hard to remember that if this one doesn't work out there are plenty more. I get scared that I've shared parts of my life with whoever the guy may be, and I may have to start over with someone new. I get terrified of starting over. No one wants to start over. I forget that I'm young and dumb and have plenty of time to date.

With that being said, dating totally sucks.

The only way that I can describe dating in today’s time is simple: impersonal. I'm old-fashioned. Not in the prude-y, stickler to the rules, old-fashioned way, but the fact that I like the classics of dating. I like the idea of getting picked up at my house, having the door held open for me, and ending the first date with nothing being expected other than a nice goodnight kiss and a polite "thank you for a great evening." Honestly, I just appreciate good manners. Maybe it's the guys I've been out with, but for the most part, this has not been the case.

I've always hated games. When I was little I never wanted to play board games, video games, hide and seek, or tag. I was always the worst one and always lost, so I was never very interested in taking part. Dating for me is very similar. Games have been put into place and we are all expected to either participate and excel, or quit the game. We play the game of waiting to respond to texts so we don't seem too eager. We play the game of ignoring Snapchat stories so they think we're not interested, even though we really are. We play the game of always acting like we're less interested than we are, in order to try to get them more interested in us. If these things worked, we would all be in relationships. We keep doing the same things over and over again, which usually ends with the same result. In the real world, this is called insanity.

Dating is exhausting. There are rules set up and both parties are expected to follow. Don't reveal too much too soon. Don't ask too deep of questions. Keep your guard up always. I love to tell people how I feel and hate feeling like I need to hide it. I love to know the core of people and what makes them tick. I love to let everyone in because I prefer to believe that people will not hurt me. This creates an interesting dynamic for me when I think a date is going well or I really like a guy.

You're also expected to have it all together. You can't be too loud or too funny or say the wrong thing or disagree. You're expected to be interesting, but not dominate the conversation. You have to have the right taste in music, movies, hobbies, etc. or you're written off as ineligible. You're supposed to care, but not too much, and definitely not care if they want to see you again. All of which I care about very much. You need to have it all together. I for one, do not have it all together.

I think both sides get a bad rep. Girls are expected to look flawless, act flawless, and hide their impurities both inside and out. We are expected to wait for the guy to call us and never double text because that looks like we care too much and as aforementioned, we are not supposed to care at all.

Guys are expected to be “the dominate” in the dating world. They are expected to always make the first move and be forward, without being overtly forward and coming off as aggressive. Girls want guys to be nice and sweet and caring, but when guys genuinely are this way, they are thought of as only friends and too sensitive.

I think for both sides, these are nearly impossible standards to live up to.

I think, to make dating easier on both sides, we need to drop these games and preconceptions and just go back to how dating was when our grandparents fell in love. We need to be ourselves and take technology out of the courting equation. We need to drop the idea that we have to put up a front and not let people in. It's beautiful to share yourself with someone else and this should not be something we hinder ourselves from. We should not hold ourselves back because we're scared they'll think we're too interested or too available or any of the other things these games have forced us not to be. If you like me, please tell me, or else I'll never know.

I strongly believe in doing whatever feels right, in all aspects of life. I think we need to apply this to dating. If you like someone there is nothing else to think about; that's how love works. It's not rational, it's just real.