Disclaimer: This article will consist of religious content and will have religious bias.
As a single guy, I think I can speak for most single guys when I say that dating can get pretty hard out there. There are a lot of ups and downs but it's just part of the game. However, as a Christian, I think that we should look at dating a little bit differently from the conventional view of dating popularized by most of the community and media today. I'll discuss how I think we Christians should look at dating and hopefully give some helpful advice.
Put Jesus First
If you read my first article, you would understand that I find it very important to have Jesus as the anchor for your life. If you haven't you can find it here. The reason why it should be applied to dating is that you should learn to love Jesus before you can learn to love someone else. It is important that you are anchored in Jesus before you reach out for another relationship because if you aren't anchored in Jesus, you'll be easily swayed to anchor yourself to your significant other. Why is this a bad thing? For one, you will grow further from Jesus when you should always strive to grow closer. Secondly, if you do break up, you aren't just breaking up with your significant other, you're also breaking up with your "God." That is something that will break you, and you'll have a very hard time recovering from losing your "God." However, when you are anchored in Jesus, you won't have such a hard time realizing that maybe the relationship wasn't for the best and you can still give the other person grace even if it wasn't. I think that the most ideal way to look at dating from a Christian perspective is a triangle that Jefferson Bethke mentioned in one of his videos. If Jesus is at the top and you and your S.O. are the bottom two corners, then you should both try to work your way towards Jesus and the two of you will develop a stronger relationship as a byproduct.
Date with the intent of marriage
I'm not saying that as soon as you date someone, they are the person you will marry, but just keep in mind that you plan to get married in the future and look for someone who you know you could get married to. When you are dating them, it may be best to cut things off early, before more feelings get involved, if you have a feeling that they aren't someone you should marry. I'm just saying that you should try to date only "wife-material," if you will. If you date without the intent of marriage, it can be destructive to not only yourself but to others. When you are going around and dating people who you know you won't end up with and just "dating for fun," then you are wasting time when you could working on yourself more and working on your relationship with Jesus. You may feel a little lost and be going down a path that you don't know where you'll end up, but you will be bringing another person with you down that path. Another piece of advice I have is that if you don't see marriage in the near future, then it may not be the best idea to be in a relationship. If you do find that person who you know you will marry, then that's great and you should definitely continue to take care of the relationship. However, the odds can be very slim for you to find someone to drag with you through the hardest upcoming parts of your life and come out together on the other side. Just be careful not only with who you date, but when you date them as well.
Dating without the intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unsatisfied or you take something that isn't yours - Jefferson Bethke
