Being a hopeless romantic, it is safe to say that I cherish relationships that people have. There is nothing that seems to bring happiness more to people than being with that special someone. Whether it's spending a fancy dinner together or simply waking up with them laying there by your side, having that person with you, that connection, is simply extraordinary. However, there are many of us on the other side who are single, whether we want to be or not. Perhaps we had our heart broken, or we broke one. Maybe we found it too inconceivable to have someone special in our lives during this hectic time that is college. Whatever the reason is, we find ourselves coming to terms that maybe we just aren't destined to be dating right now. Whether we are or aren't doesn't matter, as we shouldn't be thinking of it in the first place. What we should be thinking about is the mentality of dating ourselves. By this, of course, I mean that one must first love themselves before they can even think of loving someone else.
It may seem like no one has this problem, that everyone is content with themselves, but I can admit (as many others would, too) that this is not the case. We all want to not have flaws, whether that be having smelly feet or a nervous tick or an irrational fear. Yes, we can fix the feet thing thanks to some good ole fashioned Gold Bond but what about the fears? What about the nervous tick? Can those be changed? This is where the idea of someone you love comes into play. If you truly loved them, would you leave them based on a fear? A tick? Smelly feet? No, you would support them, and help them fix it or be able to deal with it because of your love for them.
Take this idea back to yourself. Love yourself by accepting your flaws, your smelly feet, your nervous tick — and work on them. Doing this will improve yourself as a person and be able to enjoy life more.
Ever notice how people tend to gravitate towards more positively acting people? Well, there is an obvious reason for that. So by improving and accepting yourself you are then able to fall in love with yourself. Once you fall in love with yourself then you can begin to date yourself. Then as you begin to date yourself, you will set an example to people around you about how much you could love somebody. When people see this, (such as your destined soulmate) they will realize that since you can have so much compassion for yourself, why no them too?
I feel as if too many people today are always worried about being single, about not having that special someone, as if they think they absolutely need someone.
My friends, I'm here to tell you that you don't. If you keep this mentality, then every time a person you want to be with friend-zones you or doesn't have the same feelings as you, then you will be devastated. You must realize that the person who will truly be the love of your life will be found when you aren't even looking. Because when you first love yourself and are dating yourself, everything else will come naturally. There won't be a complicated process of finding them or anything like that because the person you are destined to find will surprise you when they appear.
So go, and have fun. Enjoy life and love yourself. Don't look and it will come out of nowhere and surprise you. As Paulo Coelho said, "Love can only be found through the act of loving."
