We’ve all heard about the massive hype that came with the release of the "Fifty Shades" trilogy, have we not? While it may have gotten a few things wrong, it did shine a new, more acceptable light on this type of endeavor. Since its release, more and more people have decided to explore their adventurous sides by trying what is known as Bondage, Dominance, Sadism and Masochism (BDSM). 36 percent of adults in the U.S. use masks, blindfolds and other bondage tools during sex, according to a survey by Durex. You can chalk it up to curiosity, but could there be something else behind the massive influx of people to this type of lifestyle?
In all actuality, there is. BDSM involves a high amount of human touch and communication, both of which are thought to stimulate the natural opioids in the brain such as endorphins, adrenaline and oxytocin. This mix of neurochemicals causes a floating, dream-like, peaceful, time-distorting euphoria that the BDSM community has christened “sub-space.” The brain responds to the pain presented through certain forms of BDSM by decreasing blood flow to an area of the brain associated with higher level brain functions like executive control and active memory.
While this process sounds like something we would rather avoid, it is precisely this process that makes the experience so euphoric. It allows the person to “let go” and relax and enter what is, essentially, an altered state of consciousness. The fact that it alters active memory is not to say that you won’t remember the experience afterwards, it just allows the brain to relax and run simply on instinct and sensation.
While all of this may be good, fine and interesting, there are studies that have shown that BDSM may actually have legitimate health benefits. Despite the fact that this inclination was considered by the American Psychological Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) to be a mental disorder, evidence suggests that people who engage in these types of activities may be a little saner than those who do not. A 2013 study found that BDSM practitioners were "less neurotic, more extraverted, more open to new experiences, more conscientious, less rejection sensitive [and] had higher subjective well-being" than the control group. An Australian study from 2008 interviewed over 19,000 people and found more or less the same: men who had engaged in BDSM scored much lower on psychological distress tests than other men.
Dr. Sandra LaMorgese is a professional dominatrix, fetishist and holistic practitioner in mind, body and spiritual living in New York City. It is her belief that BDSM can help couples bond and feel at ease with each other. “During BDSM sessions, clients often experience a release of dopamine and serotonin, the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters. These two chemicals are associated with feelings of happiness, tranquility, joy, self-confidence, emotional well-being and motivation. In addition, the release of the chemical vasopressin compels people toward feeling bonded to one another,” LaMorgese told Medical Daily.
Not all of the benefits are physiological, however. There are many aspects of a relationship that are tantamount to keeping it solid, such as communication, intimacy, fidelity and a huge amount of trust. These are all values that are also major components in a BDSM relationship. You have to trust that neither partner is going to do anything that will hurt you. You achieve this by communicating your desires, needs, what you definitely do not want to do and, of course, safe words: an agreed-upon-prior word that ceases all activity in the moment. This helps you be more open and comfortable talking about other aspects of your relationship.
This, in turn, creates an intimacy that few people achieve with their partners and will lead to fidelity because you are overall happier with your partner. Not to mention the energy, emotional space and trust both partners put into the relationship dissuade most people from cheating. With these building blocks of a relationship in place, a lot of anxiety and stress are eliminated because you have a solid foundation for your relationship and all the chemicals running through your brain when you “play” help to keep you centered and mindful.
BDSM and kinky acclimations have been taboo for many years, but with the recent influx of people to this type of lifestyle, research has given credence to health benefits. With more people doing it, it isn’t considered dark and scary or a mental disorder. People are beginning to embrace the darker side of intimacy and are being safe, having fun and becoming closer to each other a little bit of sensation at a time.
