I love being an introvert. There is something about feeling perfectly content in being alone. I could spend days at home, getting all my tasks done and relaxing. There are so many things to do alone—I can read an entire book in one day, spend my week binge-watching my favorite show on Netflix, catch up on housework. I enjoy going out in public, sitting alone and people watching. I could listen to my best friend rant about their entire life and I would be perfectly fine not saying a single word as they release their frustration. I think deeply and contemplate difficult ideas and concepts. I love organization and could spend hours setting up my room just the way I like it. It's amazing.
However, along with the blessing of introversion comes the curse: dealing with other people. Any extrovert reading this article just said, "Whaaaat?" Yes, just dealing with people is like listening to nails on a chalkboard. Communication does not come easily to us introverts, as we would much rather be passive-aggressive and just hope the other person gets the hint. For instance, when there is an issue with my roommates, I would much rather sit there and fester in my frustration than do the "simple" task of going and explaining why I am upset. Don't even get me started on group projects either. I tend to just take on the brunt of the responsibility instead of having to communicate with my other group members about what needs to be done.
With the ability to think deeply comes the problem of overthinking. I have the tendency to overthink and over-analyze the situation. Then comes the full force of my anxiety and I shut down. When I am faced with a big problem, it can take me hours to think of a solution, as I will force myself to think through the potential outcomes of every single possible choice I could make. Also, when asked a question or just talking to a friend, I think through my responses and sometimes can hardly form an answer because I will want it to be just perfect.
Because I have such large expectations of myself through my tendency to overthink and be just right in all situations, I often let myself down. Here is the most dangerous part of being an introvert. The combination of deeply thinking in a negative manner, along with feeling alone or invisible in almost any social situation has the potential to cause a person to feel isolated and depressed when this might not even be the case. I find myself in a "funk" in which I'd much rather shut down and block out others from my world instead of trying and fix my thoughts on positive things.
Unfortunately, I also have large expectations of other people and can get frustrated when people don't meet these expectations. This is why introverts tend to have only a small amount of friends. That, and the fact that it is exhausting to try and keep up with the lives of more than only three people. I constantly feel like I'm not a good enough friend because I don't try and keep in touch with the people I love the most at all times, but honestly, it is just too tiring. I would rather catch up when we see each other and listen to how their life has been.
Another struggle I face as an introvert is the oh-so-dreaded, phone call. As an introvert, I do not understand how it is so easy for some people to make a phone call and just talk for hours about nothing. Introverts crave deep conversations, and we can't stand small talk. Don't forget those phone calls you have to make for a reservation or appointment, when ordering something, asking for customer service or anything else.
Yes, being an introvert comes with its many struggles, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I think deeply and therefore, care deeply. I am creative and inspired by many things. I take things seriously and make good decisions as I am able to rationalize before taking action. Being an introvert has helped me in so many aspects of my life, including school, close relationships, and my job. I love spending time with myself and not craving the attention of other people—being alone but not lonely.
