Dear Dad,

It's been quite some time sine you passed, but missing you never gets any easier. The pain of your loss still haunts me every day. There are so many things I wish I could talk to you about and so many events have happened since you have been gone. I wish I could tell you about how school is going, my plans for when I graduate, and just to get advice from you.

I think about you every day. I think about the times you would call me and I wouldn't answer. I could't even put into words how much I regret doing that to you if you were standing in front of me today. I listen to the voicemails you had left me telling me you loved me. I miss hearing you say that no matter what I did with my life you would be proud of me. I miss being able to come home from a long week at school and get a hug from you.

I read all the old letters that you sent me, although at this point they are so tear stained the ink is barely legible. I've read them over and over so many times I almost have them memorized. Just being able to read how hard you were trying to be there for me makes me miss having you here.

I miss that no matter what was going on you would tell me to be positive. You were the ray of positivity that always kept my realistic side a little more sunny. I miss being able to talk to your old friends about you in a present tense. I miss hearing you tell me all about the crazy stories about you and the friends you had throughout your life.

Since you've been gone, I've done a little growing up. I want to be able to tell you about my jobs, my friends, and the experiences I've had that made me into the woman I am today. I just want to be able to hear you say that you are so proud of me one more time. The world grew a little darker after you left.

There are some nights that I look over to the pictures of you and me and I can't keep myself from crying, knowing that the next time I see you will be when I pass too.

I feel you around me all the time. In times of trouble, when my gut is telling me not to do something, I know that it's you trying to help me steer clear. I know that you are surrounding my family keeping them safe. I can feel you put your hand on my shoulder when I'm just not having a good day.

I wish that you were able to walk me down the aisle at my future wedding. I wish you were able to be here to meet your future grandchildren.

With all of this being stated, I just want you to have rest. Your life was not an easy one. You worked hard at everything you did all while trying to overcome your mental health obstacles. You wound up being one of the strongest willed people that I ever knew in my entire life.

I love you so much, Dad.