After dating the same guy for almost five years, you can bet I was ready to have a ring on my finger. Once you get to a certain point in any romantic relationship the only way to keep moving forward is to get married and start a life together. I was so ready, and I made sure he knew it. Lucky for me, he was sneaky and romantic and threw me off the trail enough that I had no idea it was coming. And let's be honest, sneaky romantic boys are the best kind.
The few months that lead up to him popping the question followed vicious (and now hilarious) cycle of emotions and situations. I put that poor boy through hell and I'm watching friends fall to the same fate. Maybe this perspective will keep you from the cycle, but to be honest, it probably won't. Here's how it happens.
Stage 1. Everything is going fine.
You love each other, and you both know that eventually, you are going to get married. For the time being, you're satisfied with your bf/gf relationship. You like hanging out and talking about the future. You've got some plans, but obviously, there's no ring, so you're just waiting for the big questions to get the ball rolling on that Pinterest board you just made public. Maybe he is even hinting that he might have already told your best friend what his plan is, or that he went to look at rings and couldn't believe how expensive they are. Maybe you even caught a glimpse of his hidden Pinterest board where he's been looking at some ring styles. At any rate, you are feeling pretty good about a ring being in your near future.
Stage 2. You start to doubt.
Maybe Pinterest is betraying you with all of the "picked for you" pins with gorgeous wedding dresses. Maybe a friend who has been dating their S/O for a way shorter amount of time just got engaged. Or maybe you notice your boy spending money of frivolous things which leads you to believe that he simply cannot be saving for a ring. Suddenly you think, "Well, maybe getting married soon isn't on his mind. Maybe he wants to wait longer than I thought!" Before you know it, you're worrying that he doesn't even want to marry you and that he doesn't even love you to begin with.
Stage 3. You keep quiet for a while.
In an attempt to not seem like a crazy psycho girlfriend, you keep it bottled up. You decide it's better not to talk about it directly and just keep looking for signs. You decide that he's probably got it all under control and is just trying to throw you off the trail. Then you notice that he keeps going out with his bros, or buying new games for his xbox, or a new exhaust kit for his car, or new shoes. Suddenly you are SURE that he is blowing his money on everything but you. So much for being the most important thing in his life! You confide in your best friend who just nods with understanding and tells you to keep the faith.
Stage 4. You explode.
Maybe he noticed something was up and asked you about it, or maybe he bought one too many toys and you just had to let loose. Either way, you melt into a puddle of tears blubbering, "It's like you don't even want to marry me! Do you even love me?" while he pats you on the back letting you cry.
Stage 5. You accept the excuses.
After he lets you melt down completely, he holds you tight and assures you that you really are the most important thing in his life. He asks you to trust him because he's the man. Maybe he lets you know that it really hurts his feelings that you don't trust him, but even if he doesn't you feel like an absolute troll for blowing up. You promise to try to be patient and let him take the lead. You hug it out and dry your face off and try to let things go back to normal until the day that you actually do get to take the next step in you relationship with your dream guy. Until then, just remember...
