Best friends. These are the people that we rely on when we fall. We go to them for advice when we have no one else. They are the ones we go to gossip about who we have a crush on and the like.
However, who do we go to when that best friend is who we have the crush on? Thus, comes the problem when you are crushing on your best friend.
Unfortunately, I have experience in this category and let me just say it sucks. When your free time is spent with this person and you harbor these feelings it's hard to keep them under wraps. When all you want to do is scream these feelings from the rooftops, but you can't because it might alter your friendship.
I'm glad to say I'm no longer stuck in this particular situation and am happily in love with my boyfriend who turns out to be one of my best friends, but that doesn't mean I can't offer some advice. In my sophomore year of high school, a guy that I hadn't seen since elementary school transferred into my classes. I was good friends with this boy, but it had been so long.
Turns out, we fell right into being best friends again and were happy goofing off in the middle of class. However, as much fun as we used to have, the fun would end when he would bring up his girlfriend of the month. It made it hard for me to not be jealous and not act as such. I just had to smile and play along and bury my feelings. After all, I couldn't openly admit my feelings when he was talking about his girlfriends.
Also, being such good friends, I worried what admitting these feelings would do to our friendship. It was easier for me to not know what he felt because then I could always think maybe he feels the same way. The land of denial was an unhealthy place to be but felt safer than ruining everything. So, I went on to play the best friend role and was the definition of being friend zoned.
I was in this situation for almost a year when I slipped up and was forced to reveal my feelings. He was talking about how he was going out with some girl and I guess I let some animosity slip out and he questioned me. I then revealed my feelings in a long awkward text and he replied with what I was most afraid of. He told me that he didn't feel that way but wanted to continue being friends.
Well, as most know when the opposite sex says "let's still be friends" it really never stays that way. As much as I wanted to continue our friendship. Summer vacation came along, and we talked less and less until we stopped completely, and I didn't even get a "hi" in the halls when we returned to school.
This experience taught me a lot and I would like to share so some poor girl doesn't experience the hurt I did at the end of this situation.
The advice I have to offer here is when you notice these feelings say something right away. If you let them bottle up it will only make things worse, I promise.
Also, don't say it in a text. That lacks all emotion and doesn't really get your point across. Make it a face to face conversation, that way your feelings get across the way you want them to.
Lastly, if you are afraid of wrecking your friendship — like I was — don't be. If your friendship is truly strong and important enough it will be fine after this regardless of any feeling shared or not shared.
The biggest take away from this is to never hide your feelings. I wish I never had because I lost a good friend in the end. Now, like I said before I am very happy in my relationship now, but I can't help but think what would have happened if I had done things differently. Don't give yourself those reasons to regret. Just live your life happily. That is the goal.
