Crushing On Your Best Friend Sucks But I Figured Out What To Do

Crushing On Your Best Friend Sucks But I Figured Out What To Do

You don't want to ruin the friendship, but it's so hard to keep your feelings at bay.

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Best friends. These are the people that we rely on when we fall. We go to them for advice when we have no one else. They are the ones we go to gossip about who we have a crush on and the like.

However, who do we go to when that best friend is who we have the crush on? Thus, comes the problem when you are crushing on your best friend.

Unfortunately, I have experience in this category and let me just say it sucks. When your free time is spent with this person and you harbor these feelings it's hard to keep them under wraps. When all you want to do is scream these feelings from the rooftops, but you can't because it might alter your friendship.

I'm glad to say I'm no longer stuck in this particular situation and am happily in love with my boyfriend who turns out to be one of my best friends, but that doesn't mean I can't offer some advice. In my sophomore year of high school, a guy that I hadn't seen since elementary school transferred into my classes. I was good friends with this boy, but it had been so long.

Turns out, we fell right into being best friends again and were happy goofing off in the middle of class. However, as much fun as we used to have, the fun would end when he would bring up his girlfriend of the month. It made it hard for me to not be jealous and not act as such. I just had to smile and play along and bury my feelings. After all, I couldn't openly admit my feelings when he was talking about his girlfriends.

Also, being such good friends, I worried what admitting these feelings would do to our friendship. It was easier for me to not know what he felt because then I could always think maybe he feels the same way. The land of denial was an unhealthy place to be but felt safer than ruining everything. So, I went on to play the best friend role and was the definition of being friend zoned.

I was in this situation for almost a year when I slipped up and was forced to reveal my feelings. He was talking about how he was going out with some girl and I guess I let some animosity slip out and he questioned me. I then revealed my feelings in a long awkward text and he replied with what I was most afraid of. He told me that he didn't feel that way but wanted to continue being friends.

Well, as most know when the opposite sex says "let's still be friends" it really never stays that way. As much as I wanted to continue our friendship. Summer vacation came along, and we talked less and less until we stopped completely, and I didn't even get a "hi" in the halls when we returned to school.

This experience taught me a lot and I would like to share so some poor girl doesn't experience the hurt I did at the end of this situation.

The advice I have to offer here is when you notice these feelings say something right away. If you let them bottle up it will only make things worse, I promise.

Also, don't say it in a text. That lacks all emotion and doesn't really get your point across. Make it a face to face conversation, that way your feelings get across the way you want them to.

Lastly, if you are afraid of wrecking your friendship — like I was — don't be. If your friendship is truly strong and important enough it will be fine after this regardless of any feeling shared or not shared.

The biggest take away from this is to never hide your feelings. I wish I never had because I lost a good friend in the end. Now, like I said before I am very happy in my relationship now, but I can't help but think what would have happened if I had done things differently. Don't give yourself those reasons to regret. Just live your life happily. That is the goal.
Cover Image Credit:

https://www.123rf.com/photo_51670810_close-up-portrait-of-happy-young-hipster-couple-smiling-together-on-autumn-day.html

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I Asked 11 People To Tell Me Their Worst Date Experiences, And These Are Their Stories

Vulgarity, awkwardness, and embarrassment ahead. Read with caution.

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Let's face it, my fellow millennials... dating is fucking hard. There are creeps, assholes, cheapskates, gold diggers, and there are people just looking to get into your pants and leave. It's a wild world out there in the dating pool, and I've asked 11 people to share with me their worst ever dates. Here's what they had to say...

1. Magen, 28

"I went to see a movie with this guy I was lukewarm about. He was excited about the movie and told me it looked really good. Turns out it's a horror film where the protagonists are all being murdered by a young woman/poltergeist that appears in photos before killing them. Then it turns out that everyone that died gang-raped and murdered the young woman. Then after the movie, he asked me to get in the back seat: No. Then he tried to make out with me: No. When I said I wanted to go home he drove in silence for the whole 20 minutes. A week later he messaged me that if I converted to Islam we could get married. So, basically, he was a psycho."

2. Emma, 20

"I once went over a guy's house for a second date with him. The first was two days before, and it was a blind date, so I didn't really know him well. When I got to his house, we went up to his room to watch 'Up.' His room was filthy. He had dirty socks, underwear, and clothes everywhere. His bed was unmade, too. I sat up and leaned against his headboard as he sat about a foot away from me, awkwardly leaning back on his elbows. After the movie was over, I made up an excuse to leave, saying I had to clean my house for my mom. He walked me to my car and kissed me out of nowhere. He then proceeded to ask me to officially be his girlfriend. I told him that we should go on more dates and see where it goes from there. I drove back to my house and when I got home, I texted him and told him I didn't see it going anywhere."

3. Emily, 25

"A guy asked me to lick his asshole in the middle of dinner."

4. Michael, 25

"I was walking up to a restaurant and just happened to walk past my date when she was snorting Xanax in her car. I turned right around and drove to Wendy's and got a Baconator."

5. Lily, 22

"On my first date with a guy, I drove him to Sonic. He flirted with the waitress and I had to pay for both of our meals because he was 'trying to be more careful with his money.'"

6. Anonymous, 23

"I met a man online to be my new sugar daddy. We only talked for a day and he wanted to meet at the mall. So the morning of I texted him where exactly and he told me to meet at a bar/restaurant. I show up in a t-shirt and white/gray floral workout leggings. We're making awkward small talk. He's telling me about the girls he tried to see before how they all ghosted him and he didn't know why. He was a very attractive man in a rich industry so I was excited to be pretty high on his list. Twenty-five mins into it, I have to use the bathroom. I was feeling crampy all day and knew my period was coming. I excuse myself to the bathroom and walk away. As soon as I get into the restroom, I look in the mirror and see a HUGE bloody stain on my ass. I'm EMBARRASSED. I try to dab as much blood out as possible and shove toilet paper in my underwear to use as a pad. I cover my butt with my sweatshirt and walk back to my seat. Luckily the seat was black so it didn't show but I could see a damp spot. He didn't notice I don't think but I needed to change so I suggested we walk around the mall. I tell him I'm gonna run to my car for something then meet back up with him. I found some black leggings in my trunk and change. I met up with him again and he noticed the change but didn't say anything. After we walked around we went back to his car and he gave me $100. He said he wanted to see me again a few days later. The day came to hang out and HE ghosted me."

7. Marilyn, 23

"A boy I met off Tinder took me to a generic, less nice, knock-off of Olive Garden, bought me dinner and then went and watched a movie with his parents. Leans over to me, whispers 'You should take my virginity because I bought you dinner.' His parents asked what he said because I made a weird face and then left."

8. Bree, 26

"I went to see a movie (the first 'Fantastic Beasts') and the guy spent the entire movie talking about how 'his woman' shouldn't work and how he wanted someone to service him. Not the previews. The actual movie itself. No second date, although he texted me every day for a month after."

9. Mia, 20

"I was 15 and I met this guy and we went to a play and then to get dessert. Since neither of us could drive my parents dropped him off at his house after dessert and he kissed me on the forehead and said I love you as he left the car IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS. I had met him like once before."

10. Annie, 21

"We went to see 'Mission Impossible: Fall Out.' He didn't like it, so we left 20 minutes into the movie. We went to go get food (Bonbon Sushi), he made fun of my order, spent the entire date making weird jokes that were definitely not 'first date' type jokes (ex. 'I can tell you're gonna be a handful, figuratively and literally'), told me I was too nice (in a bad way), and that he was mean. I said I don't really like mean, even if it's just joking. He drove me home, asked me to RATE THE DATE (WTF). I said, 'I don't know, I don't really want to do that.' He said, 'Well, I'm asking you to be honest.' I said, 'okay...well...I guess a seven then.' I was being generous. He said, 'Seven?! What could I have done better?' I said, 'Honestly, primarily just being nicer. It's a first date, don't you want to put your best foot forward?' He laughed in my face, said, 'Well, this isn't going to work out then,' and DROVE AWAY! I thought, 'well, at least he knows it wasn't a good date.' Two days later, he texts me asking for a second date..."

11. Ash, 21

"We were friends and then started dating. The relationship was really short-lived and ended up being pretty crappy, but he talked for like a week about wanting to take me out for burgers at a nearby diner and then 'forgot' his card at home. I ended up paying, and he promised he would pay for the next date. Then ghosted me for a week, and when I confronted him about it, he ended up dumping me in front of my dorm building."

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