From my personal experience, creativity is one of the greatest weapons we will ever have against depression. And it makes sense that this is true.

Depression is when the loss of hope has become so complete, we have loss of self, loss of value, loss of perception of who we are. We feel stranded and hopeless. Constantly searching for any small bit of light. Depression makes me not want to go outside, it makes me not want to see people, it makes me scared. A lot of things make me scared.

Anxiety is depression's best friend. It comes only when depression is there, although depression is always there lately so that means anxiety is too. Anxiety makes me afraid of failure. It makes me feel like a failure, a burden. It makes me feel unwanted.

With Borderline in the mix, it creates the perfect storm. My fears turn into feeling and I feel the feelings really deeply. It creates a mixture that I wouldn't wish on my deepest enemy. It creates a feeling of loneliness and a fear to be alone.

On the other hand, creativity is the expression of self. Not in an egotistical way, but in an “I-proved-that-I-am-an-individual-because-without-me-this-couldn’t-exist” way. Creativity proves self, proves value, proves life. Creativity has the power to disprove much of what we’ve believed that has led to our depression, anxiety, or borderline. Creativity shows that your thoughts have power. It creates memories for the viewer, listener, or reader. Creativity invites someone else into your story in a way that is not scary. Creativity lets you express what your deepest feeling are without having to say them. Creativity is a friend on those dark days when you don't want to leave your house. It's an invitation to be productive, a whisper of hope against the screams of the lies your mind tells you. Creativity is powerful and could be the most powerful weapon you have against your mental illness.

But what counts as “creating?” What if you don’t think you are a “creative” person?

I would argue that one of the greatest lies we can believe is that we aren’t creative. And the only way we can possibly come to this conclusion is by comparing ourselves to others and what we assume creativity is.

“I can’t draw like he can.”
“I can’t paint like she does.”
“I can’t decorate like they do.”
“I can’t design things like she did.”
“I can’t take pictures like that.”
“I can’t sing as well as everyone else who sings.”

Believe, if you wish, that you aren’t like someone else. But do not believe that your differences make you less than or none at all.

Maybe we need to make sure we have the right definitions of creativity.

Creativity: The use of the imagination, or the use of original ideas, especially in the production of artistic work

Create: To bring something into existence; to cause something to happen as a result of one’s actions

Creative: Relating to or involving the imagination

Art: The expression or application of human creative imagination, typically in a visual form; works produced by imagination

Artistic: Having or revealing natural creative skill

Skill: An ability, particularly to do something well

As you read those definitions, you will realize that you possess creativity. You have the ability to create. You are creative. You are artistic. You are not nothing.

I first experienced creativity in a therapeutic way when I was at the darkest point I had ever been in my life. I was angry at God that I was still alive, I was angry at my therapists for reminding me of the reasons to stay alive, I was full of anger.

Then I met Desi. Desi is quite possibly the most optimistic and bubbly person I have ever come into contact with, which can quite annoying if your a group of 20-something-year-olds who are all in treatment for being depressed and lethargic. Desi didn't care about our artistic ability, or even if we wanted to be there. All she cared is that we created and imagined and tried. That is art therapy. It doesn't matter how well you do, if you've ever drawn before in your life- whether you create a stick figure or the freakin' Mona Lisa — it's not the quality of the artistic marks on the paper, its the quality of the thoughts behind it, and the idea of that thing no matter how good or how bad it is, could never be there without you. This realization, even being an artist my entire life, was monumental for me in my recovery.

I am now on my path to recovery and no longer a patient in an Art Therapy setting, but now striving to be like Desi — a focus shifter, perspective changer, and difference make in the lives of people who feel hopeless. I am in school to be an Art Therapist because I believe creativity - whether it is creating a skit, growing a plant, drawing a stick figure, painting with your hands, sculpting a figure, or listening to music — is the most powerful weapon against mental illness.

If you imagine, you create. If you scribble, you create. If you do something and do it well, you create. If you make someone care for another because of your outrageous act of love for them, you create.

Don’t let fear, lies, and comparison beat out love and creativity in your life.

Creativity is a tool to heal the broken and afraid. It is a tool to build something up. It is a tool to say "I am here. I am alive. This wouldn't be created without me. That matters. I matter."