We live in a confusing world. When I was young I didn't know that people did bad things on purpose. Not every tragedy is an accident. Depending on how we are raised and how we learn lessons in life will factor in on how people see the world. I was raised many different ways by my family. My grandmother is constantly worrying, which made me not want to worry. It made me be careless and sometimes even live life on the edge, but I still held my mom's hand crossing the street in my neighborhood until I was about thirteen. Before I was ever allowed to go to a friends house I had to give my dad their full name, phone number and address. I was not raised to fear the world, but I always had a little ache in my heart that at any moment I could lose someone that meant a lot to me. I would go to sleep every night thinking of the worst when I didn't really have a reason to.
In first grade I was in complete denial that the attacks on the World Trade Center were done on purpose. I was so sad for the people that had lost their lives and so confused as to how an accident like that could happen. Then my parents told me about terrorism. Since then it wasn't such a common occurrence. Slowly things started changing. Terrorists are still a problem, but not the only one.
The country was somewhat safe from another tragedy, and then people were getting shot at movie theaters, children at schools were being murdered in the same state I lived in, and you couldn't run a marathon without losing a limb. Those events were just in the United States and they are still causing issues of segregation. Not only is there racism towards the color of someone's skin, but towards someone's sexual preference. How are we going to turn back time and live in a place of inequality and hatred?
I am not black. I am not gay. I am not a cop or running for president. Yes, I have had a somewhat rough life compared to other people in this world, but I am not going to join a group of martyrs and ruin the lives of others just so I can feel accepted and then go to heaven. I am not any of these things, but I know many people who do have these characteristics. They are friends, they are family and they are loved ones. It is not how I describe them, that is just an aspect of who they are. In this world we live in, everyone might fear for his or her own lives, but if you or someone you know fall under one or more of those categories, the fear might be a little bit more increased.
While all of these insane acts are going on I had a moment of my own in New York City. It was just after my team and I visited the 9/11 Memorial Museum. We were all on the subway and a man in a trench coat started shouting and walking up and down the cart. He came about 2 inches from me and my life flashed before my eyes. I realized that I was afraid of a homeless man asking for money all because of the terrible things I have witnessed happen in this world. I was relieved, but at the same time mortified.This is not the world that I want to grow up in. It is not the world that I want to raise a family in, but fear will not hold me back. People are going to die. it is a part of life. Tragedy may happen accidentally and it may happen on purpose. 1 person cannot change the views of 7 billion people, but all it takes is your own mindset to live like it is the end, because it very well could be.That does not mean build a bomb shelter or a panic room. That does not mean you shouldn't be yourself because someone is crazy enough to dislike you to the point where you can get killed, and that doesn't mean we should wait for pain and suffering before we decide to come together. Don't let the fear of how other people are living dictate how you live your own life. We must have faith that things can change for the better because worrying and hoping and praying that something bad won't happen doesn't guarantee that it won't.
