Dealing with loss is never easy, and people say that over time it gets easier. However, in my opinion, I have never met a more untrue statement. Loss is one of the hardest things anyone has to face, whether it be the loss of a family member, friend, co-worker, or in my case a pet, it tears you apart. Thursday night, my family had to put down our oldest cat Cali. She was 19 years old, we got her in 1997 when I was just two years old. Cali and I grew up together, she was my comfort when I needed it, she saw me through so many mental health breakdowns, heartbreaks, she saw me through my failures and was there when I succeeded. She was my queen, and she meant everything to me. Putting her down Thursday was not something our family ever wanted to do, but she was sick and it was selfish to make her live any longer the way she was just so we wouldn't have to say goodbye. Although, some may say she was just a pet, to us she wasn't, she was family, she was a friend, and she was someone we loved so very much.

Thursday night, September 29th today is October 1st, it hasn't even been near a week yet and I can tell already that this pain that I am feeling is something that will never go away, it may dull but it will be ever present.

That is something I feel everyone realizes once they lose someone important to them.

Loss, is mentally, emotionally and physically damaging and the path to healing is rough, tiring and long. Grief although it fades, never completely goes away and coping with that grief and the loss in general is very difficult. There are five stages of grief, however that being said everyone grieves differently these are just the more common stages.

Stage One: Denial and Isolation

Denial and isolation, is the feeling behind the statement "this cannot be happening." Denial is used as a defense mechanism because we are unable to comprehend that much emotion at once, in a sense it is buffer.

I know for me that stage one is very hard. When I get extremely upset, I tend to isolate myself from everyone/everything around me. Which, when you are grieving is not the best idea.

Stage Two: Anger

Anger occurs once the denial and isolation start to fade. Once they start to fade, the reality and pain hit full force and we are not ready for it. That amount of intense emotion is shown through anger, and the anger can be directed towards anyone or anything.

Stage Three: Bargaining

Now bargaining is a normal reaction, its when one tries to postpone the inevitable. It is also a defense mechanism but a lot less than stage one. It tries to block out the pain

Stage Four: Depression

Depression is extremely hard to handle, especially with losing someone and there are two types. The first type is when sadness and regret are more prominent. The second type is more by yourself, it is our time to separate and say goodbye to whoever we may have lost.

Stage Five: Acceptance

Unfortunately not many people reach this stage, but those that do this stage is filled with calmness and withdrawal. This is not a stage of happiness.

Overall, losing a loved one is very difficult. It hurts, not only emotionally, but mentally and physically as well.

Whenever I have lost someone I loved, or cared about I have never gotten past denial or anger and that can happen. Some people do not go through all the stages.

Loss, is inevitable it is a part of life that we cannot avoid. But no one, goes through loss alone. There is always someone out there who is going through what you are going through. There are resources out there to help you cope.

Whatever you may be going through, whoever it is that you lost, family member, friend, pet...please, take care of yourself.

I know that my Queen, my beautiful Cali Cat would not want me suffer and neither would those who you my dear readers, have lost.