We are all familiar with the constant critique of millennial dating; so much so, that it has become commonplace to embrace hookup culture, casually discuss one night stands, and define whoring as “living freely." As long as we are actively trying to enhance our person, by attending college, joining the military, or contributing to the workforce, our lack of personal morals are excusable. This has widely been enabled by our various social media outlets, that encourage us to entertain illusions of relationships without forming real ones.
Recently, I downloaded the Tinder app, an app that matches people according to attractiveness in attempts to expand their friend group. I downloaded the app in hopes of meeting new people in the city of Bath and fulfilling my housemates’ persistent request. Almost instantly, I matched with several bachelors and began entertaining conversations. I found one particular user interesting and we continued to talk for the next few days. Eventually, we decided to go out for drinks.
My housemates accompanied me out with this stranger and the night was unbelievable! His conversation was great; we sat at the bar long after happy hour discussing politics (Terrible Trump in particular), race relations in the United States versus the United Kingdom, our generations’ horrible hook-up culture, favorite authors, traveling, dreams, aspirations, career plans, and much more. Before long, he walked me home and we parted ways. I was thrilled. I had been so mentally stimulated and felt that we had connected on a genuine level. The next few days went by with us constantly texting, talking on the phone, and meeting for more drinks.
On our third encounter, we went for a walk in the park. He proceeds to ask me, “So, what’s up?” I was confused and then he blatantly asked, “When are we going to have sex?”
I immediately assumed there was a misunderstanding and informed him I was not interested in casual sex or hooking up. I went on to explain I was only interested in getting to know new people in Bath. He cut me off and lectured me about, "Not being childish and acting like I didn’t want to f***," To sum things up, he lectured me for about15 minutes more and then asked if I wanted to grab some lunch and go back to my place. I respectfully declined, returned home, blocked his number, and deleted Tinder.
Moral of the story, my generation has become comfortable with performing relationships, while not actually forming them. Meaning, society allows males to put on a facade acting interested in dreams, hopes, and aspirations as a part of the checklist to get their target in bed; and females have become so conforming, that they feel the need to brag about their bodies, one night stands, and sexual rendezvous as if they are notches to be admired on a headboard.
I am not against anyone’s sexual choices; however, I feel it imperative to recognize the relationship dexterity that us millennials have developed. We have no idea how to truly connect with people; we screenshot instead of discuss, we expose on social media in place of confront, and we cowardly crouch behind small glass screens making promises that we pray we never have to keep. I don’t know about you; but, I refuse to accept I am only worth a 12 dollar drink hook-up.
I will not believe chivalry is dead, and I have faith that millennials will eventually wake up and tether their Tinder flames.
