At some point or another we start to look for certain people that we want to be in our lives, usually, these people have one thing in common or multiple things in common because they are like us. Those people will become our best friends, bridesmaids, husband, wife, etc.
Other times, we do not look for these people at all, we just vibe with certain people and later on notice that they all have commonalities. But we have to stop trying to get the people we think we want in our lives to fit a certain mold of who WE want them to be, those are the people who are not supposed to be in our lives.
We love and trust so hard that it is most of the time hard to let go and when you finally do let go, it hurts really badly. We just have to realize that It is not our fault and we need to stop blaming ourselves for problems that others have. At one point or another, we all have to realize that some people are not worth the bother. I think that we don't realize that someone isn't supposed to be in our lives until it is too late, we have already gone through all the pain we could handle, and most of the time it is just too much.
I can't tell you how many times I have wanted someone to be in my life, but they either keep doing something that is toxic or they just leave, let these people leave. Unfortunately, we cannot force someone to be someone else just because we want them to be, this includes children and adults.
At a young age, we develop a certain type of personality, which is really hard to break as we get older. It is said that we experience three different types of love in our lives and this has a lot to do with our personality.
First love: This love happens at a young age. You eventually grow apart or call it quits over silly things. When you get older you may look back and think that it wasn't love, but the truth is, it was. It was love for what you knew love to be.
Second love: The hard one. You get hurt in this one. This love teaches us lessons and makes us stronger. This love includes great pain, lies, betrayal, abuse, drama, and damage. But this is the one where we grow. We realize what we love about love and what we don't love about love Now we know the difference between good and bad humans. Now we become closed, careful, cautious and considerate. We figure out what we want and don't want.
Third love: this one comes blindly. No warning. It creeps up on you silently. You don't go looking for this love, it comes to you. You can put up any wall you want, but it will be broken down. You will find yourself caring about that person without trying. They look nothing like your usual crush types, but you get lost in their eyes daily. You see beauty in their imperfections. You hide nothing from them. You want marriage and a family with them. You thank the universe for them. You truly love them.
You see, love has a lot to do with how our personalities develop and how others personalities develop, we may go through the same things as others, but mentally we have a completely different outcome than them in their personality, we cannot force someone to change themselves for us, because we would not want someone to try and force us to change ourselves.
We learn in time of who needs to be in our lives and who doesn't, it is okay to outgrow people, it is okay to let them go because we will find someone who is a lot better for us, and who will never hurt us.
You may think now that this seems stupid and that you are going to be with the same people you are with now, for the rest of your life, but you are actually just getting started on your journey and eventually you will find yourself and find who you are supposed to be and with that comes the people you are supposed to be with.
Stop trying to force people to stay in your life who aren't meant to be there.
Stop trying to make them something they're not.
Stop trying to make yourself someone that you aren't.
Stop trying to make them fit this imaginary and fake mold that you made up in your head.
Honestly, no one will fit a mold, because we are humans, we make mistakes and none of us are perfect, and there is nothing that you can do to change that.
