I started my senior year of high school in August. The first few weeks flew by, and I've learned so much. Someone who impacted me greatly thus far is my senior english teacher.
Her initial remarks regarding our first lesson plan, which involved 18th English Monarchy history, were to remember these basic historical facts so we could sound intelligent when we someday find ourselves in a little black dress at a sophisticated cocktail party. This, to me, perfectly captured our school's motto "Non scholae, sed vitae. Not for school, but for life." Days later, a fellow student was called out to answer a question in class. She hesitated, not sure if her answer was correct, and eventually started to slowly say "Is it.... hmm.." Before she could go on, my teacher stopped her asking, "Would the boys across the street ever say 'Is it' even if they knew their answer was wrong? Speak confidently ladies. Always say 'It is'." She was referring to the all boys high school affiliated with my all girls high school. This got me thinking.
Why do boys seem inherently confident, while girls constantly struggle with this?
Why do we [women] have to be reminded that we are intelligent women and that we can speak confidently?
To answer this, I took a closer look at the way our society depicts gender roles.
We tell our sons they have big muscles and that they are superheroes as soon as they can walk. We tell our daughters that if they want to try and become proper and "good," they should accomplish a, b, and c.
Sons, go fulfill your dreams and conquer the world because you can do it.
Daughters, after you study hard, get impressive degrees, sustain a good reputation, cross your legs, and do your hair, then watch out for sexism and people who will tell you your dreams aren't possible. If you make it through all that, go conquer the world.
We are blinded to the sexism our society fosters. Recently, I had a discussion with a male acquaintance at the neighboring all boys school previously mentioned. The topic was girls from my school being in classes at their school (all boys) for scheduling and class interest reasons. The particular class we were referencing was entitled "Crime and Justice." I asked "What's it like having girls in your class for the first time in years?" He replied, "Weird, I forgot how much they like to talk. It's also very uncomfortable to talk about certain things." I asked, "Like what?" His friend added, "The wage gap. I am actually in the section with only boys so we, luckily, get to actually discuss the wage gap." Confused, I asked for further explanation. They both agreed it is a topic "too uncomfortable to talk about with girls." This conservation left me dumbfounded.
You can't have discussions about the wage gap around women because it's "too uncomfortable?"
That epitomizes the whole problem with the wage gap. It is so unjustified that men feel uncomfortable talking about it amoungst women.
These boys I was conversing with were not deliberately trying be sexist. They didn't even think twice about our conversation. This was the society raised them: that student is lucky he doesn't have to watch what he is saying to make sure he doesn't sound sexist. Because, apparently, it's difficult to watch your mouth when women are around.
So, let's raise our future generation differently. Let's teach our boys and girls the same messages and not target a message to one gender.
Encourage those around you to recognize the gender inequalities within our flawed society and have those uncomfortable conversations. The best solution we have to fix gender inequalities is our voices, together.
Talking about such topics takes confidence. Inspire confident and live confidently, so we can combat gender inequalities one "it is.." instead of "is it.." at a time.
