I have never told anyone this story. Quite frankly, I'm really not comfortable with telling it. But, I feel that if I don't there might be someone out there that might endure the same thing I did, and it might be much tragic.

Recently I started a new creative agency with my wife. Now, this isn't a way to promote my business, but I thought I would share why I chose to do this. You see I too worked in a very high paying job. In matter of fact, it was with the state of Washington. Although it paid well and the benefits were great, I didn't enjoy it.

Here's a little background on me, I am an Air Force vet. I also suffer from PTSD and Anxiety Disorder. When it came to the Air Force, there were ups and downs. But I made the best of it and ended up making some great friends along the way.

But when it came to this state job, I didn't enjoy it. They had me working hours that made it difficult for me to complete my school work, and worst of all if no one showed up or called in, and they were down staff, they would "mandatory" you to stay and work a double shift. I could never get a day off, even if I needed to go to a doctor's appointment. If you had to call in sick (and even produced a doctors note), they would reprimand you for doing so. My GPA began to suffer because of all the mandatories.

After two years of working at this job, I thought "things will get better, they have to! Right?" Sadly, they continued to get worse. It got so worse, that this place of employment literally threatened to fire me if I did anything creative outside of work. This included shooting concerts or even taking freelance gigs. Mind you, none of my concert gigs paid money, but they were something that I enjoyed and helped me through the stressful events that I was enduring. Even when I came home from work, I was pissed off! I was never in a good mood, and even if my wife was afraid to talk to me because she didn't know what kind of mood I was in. When you take away my ability to create, you might as well just kill me!

This led to me abusing prescription drugs. I had a prescription for Adderall as I also had ADHD when I was a kid. The doctors thought that because I was so stressed out, that maybe it would help if I went on medication. Sadly, they were wrong.

For those who don't know what Adderall is, it' basically a legal version of Speed. Many college kids are prescribed Adderall, in order to help them concentrate in school. What many people don't know, it's also very addictive and some of the side effects (as you can see in the graphic above) are terrible. I started abusing Adderall when I couldn't quit my job. The long hours and stress that the job was putting on me, including phone calls from my supervisor telling me that one minute, "I'm doing a great job" and two days later telling me "I'm f*cking up, and I am going to lose my job" took its toll. I would take Adderall, just to escape from reality. In May of last year, I finally had enough of the abuse and quit my job after I had saved a nest egg and decided to start my creative agency and finish my degree, a promise I made to my late grandfather. But my addiction was far from over. Sadly, it caused more problems. It wasn't until fall quarter of last year that I noticed I needed to get off the crap. I was always late to class or never showed up. I made excuses for why I was late. In a way, I felt dead inside. I had become anti-social and would never come out of my house... I hated how I felt.

Finally, after I was put on academic suspension, I had decided enough is enough! I quit taking the meds cold turkey. Instead of Adderall, I picked up my camera once again and started doing what I loved... shooting concerts. I also became a volunteer DJ at the college radio station after I was able to appeal my suspension and seek help. This also led to me getting a spot with the Hubbard Radio Talent Institute. I also had my wife by side, and though there were times it was tough to get through, I was able to do so with her support. In all honesty, the last two years were a complete blur due to my addiction. But with a new focus and outlook especially with I have been doing better. Yes, I had my moments where I was in a cranky mood, but those were manageable.

As of today, I am eight months clean.

If I could say one thing to someone who may have an Adderall addiction, please get help! You don't want to go down the road I went. It's a very scary and you can lose a lot in the end.