We promise when we call ourselves the "Big " we're not trying to get attention we're just telling it how it is.
1) We always feel judged by everyone
Got seconds at lunch? Yeah, we feel like everyone is judging us, and those boys over there are saying "Like she needed seconds", or the girls are saying "She really should cut down if she wants to wear leggings". It's not because we think they're bad people because they're not. We just feel like the second we walk into a room everyone automatically just judges us on how big we are. Family, friends, acquaintances all of them, all the time.
2) We'd rather not go dress shopping with you
Not even dress shopping, but any kind of shopping, we love hanging out with you and even shopping with you but seeing you fit into a dress that might fit around my thigh is not the biggest confidence booster. We're happy you don't have to struggle like we do, but at the same time we kinda hate you for it.
3) We will hide in our sweatshirts
Yes, we love dressing up as much as the next person, but when you can walk down the hallway and everyone just knows your hot and then we have to walk and jiggle right next you you it kinda makes us want to hide in a big sweatshirt where we can feel just the slightest bit better about ourselves.
4) We hate when you call yourself fat
Look fat doesn't have a set limit, you could be 57 pounds and consider yourself fat, but we all know you're not. It's not because we don't think you get to call yourself fat its not. Its more of the fact that we know, and you know that we are bigger than you, so if you're fat what are we? We love you with all our hearts but consider yourself lucky.
5) We would like not to be on the end of a group picture
The middle; where we can put our arms around you shoulders and hide them and we can stand up straight and suck in as much as physically possible, we won't have to be on the end where our tummy and arms are out in the open for everyone to see because trust me We already hate the picture without seeing it.
6) Yes, Mom/Dad I know you wanted a skinny child
I know you love me, but you don't have to hide the fact that I'm not what you wanted. I let you down by eating all the food I could when I was little and it's affecting me now, but I'm me. I know you'll love me no matter what, but i know you wanted a little girl who would do all the running sports, and a child you didn't have to wonder what you could've done differently on, I know you wanted your first born to be impressive but I never did grow out of my chunky baby stage.
7) We've tried it all
We've tried it all. We dieted, exercised, starved ourselves, maybe even thrown up a couple of times. We've stayed up late Googling, Pinning, and YouTubing how to make ourselves skinnier, maybe we gave up, maybe we didn't but we tried. We've read all sorts of liposuction stories and considered it, we'll do anything. We promise we aren't happy with ourselves and we are trying to be better, but it's brutal. When everyone else can eat one salad a month and then eat three Panchero's burritos and not see it ever again and we can eat a salad every day for a month and then eat one cupcake and see that our favorite shirt is too tight it gets depressing.
8) We didn't ask for this
I promise you we never asked for this to happen to us. We might not have known what we were doing when our friends with high metabolism could eat six pieces of pizza and we thought we could too, we thought if it didn't show on them it wouldn't show on us, no one told us any different. We regret every day of our lives that we ate two pieces of cake that time our boyfriend broke up with us, we didn't think about it at the time but now we cant forget. We never wanted to be this person.
9) We want to love ourselves
This whole love your body movement is very inspiring and all, and we've tried all the tips to love ourselves, and somedays we do, other times we couldn't hate anyone more than ourselves.
10) Selfies
Don't let our huge amount of selfies on our Insta fool you, we aren't confident, We post the selfies because maybe we love our faces, maybe that's the little bit of confidence we have, but as soon as we look down or in the mirror our confidence is crushed into more pieces then something we might step on. We post the selfies because maybe those strangers on Insta might not know what below our neck looks like, maybe they'll like the selfie because we have a cute face, maybe the likes give us confidence. We know likes shouldnt fund our confidence level but lets face it in today's society they do, and we want them to be our confidence sugar daddy.
11) The Pool
Don't even get us started on all the excuses we've made about not wanting to go to the pool, water park, or anything that deals with us being in a swimsuit. As much as we love to swim but, we're not even comfortable with walking the 20 feet to our backyard where we have a pool because someone might see us, so we're going to hard pass on going out in public in our unflattering swim suit. Sorry not Sorry.
12) You don't have to tell us
Lastly, you don't have to tell us that we're big, we know. You telling us could result in many outcomes, many of which end in us hating ourselves even more, before you tell us about our size just remember we already know, and we're trying. We don't need your opinion. So, please just judge us out of our earshot.
