If millennials aimed to de-humanize dating, they defintiley acheived that goal with the dating app Tinder. If you've just escaped from your nuclear fall out shelter, Tinder is a dating app that allows you to swipe through singles in your area. Swipe right for potential suitors (aka well kempt frat guys and artsy dudes with tattoos) and swipe left on the rejects (aka people from high school and anybody wearing cargo shorts). Is it fun? Sometimes. Is it creepy and superficial? Definitely! But what happens when people get past the crude messages, and cheesey pick up lines? I've collected a few stories of some Real Life 'Tinderellas' to find out.
Before discussing what happens outside of Tinder, we must discuss it's complex inner workings. I'm talking about the trolls. If you have had the app for a milisecond, chances are you've encountered one of these creepy specimens. They are identifibile by their messages usually something along the lines of "tits or gtfo" or something else too vulgar to write because my mom reads these articles. My friend Paul* described a conversation he had on the app:
"One guy put 'guess what?' on his moment. So I replied 'what?' to which he responded 'I just shaved my butt' with about 10 confetti emojis. Can you say unmatch?!" Trolls like these are just the tip to the crazy Tinder iceberg.
Sure swiping through hordes of people is fun, and it definitely is a confidence booster, but how do things play out when a internet fling turns into something real?
Two "Starbucks" Lovers
Paul, not shaken by men declaring the state of their butt hair,decided to meet up with one of his matches at Starbucks. "One thing lead to another, and next thing I knew we were hooking up in the back of his car in a Wal-Mart parking lot." Paul has met a few people in real life but he mentioned that this rendezvous with his "Starbucks Lover" is "definitely the most memorable." Modern romance, isn't it amazing?
Dining Hall Casanova
Although Tinder is usually used for discrete and sometimes questionable (ahem, Paul) hookups, some brave souls actually go on dates with their matches. Remember dates? They're an ancient mating ritual utilized to get to know someone before you text them "what're you up to" at 1 a.m. on a Friday night. Alex* found herself lucky(?) to meet of a Tinder match in real life. She thought they had a lot in common, and felt confident about the date.
That is until he took her to the dining hall. Because what says romance more that sharing stale raisin bran and mystery meat with the one you swiped right for? "After the date, if you can even call it that, we walked back to the dorms and he pointed to his room and said 'Want to go up and see it?' I immediately panicked and had my friend call me and fake an emergency just so I could get out of there." Lesson learned, if you want to get in between the sheets with a lady-friend maybe try to woo her with a little more then a meal swipe.
Swiping in the Rain
Gabby decided to meet up with one of her matches, after they spent the last month texting. They decided to walk around the National Mall, a location central to their respective schools. A little rain didn't stop them from enjoying their night in D.C. "We kissed on a bench near the Capitol building and it was really nice." Sounds like everything a girl could ask for right? However, the two only saw each other once after that, and soon stopped talking to each other.
What is there to learn from Tinder? Don't take your date to the dining hall, have the common courtesy to tell someone you aren't interested, and sparks can fly anywhere (even in a Wal-Mart parking lot). We may not tell our kids that we met on Tinder, but at least we had the guts to put ourselves out there.
*All names have been changed to protect the idenity of the single and swiping.
**All screenshots used in this article are the author's, because I am a huge troll.
