We all have that one friend who is always (and I mean ALWAYS) late. Like, to everything. It’s like she’s infected with a disease that causes her to run at least five minutes behind schedule at all times. Well, in the case of my group of friends, that girl is me. Yep, I’m “The Late Friend.”
Many of you probably don’t understand the severity of this affliction. Good news: I’m here to enlighten you about the realities of The Late Friend syndrome.
(This goes out to all my fellow Late Friends out there—keep on hurrying, and buy yourself a watch!)
We didn’t choose The Late Friend life.
The Late Friend life chose us. It’s not like we actually try to be late. Most of the time, we’re trying really hard NOT to be late. But alas, lateness is simply written in our DNA, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.
The phrase, “Okay, I’m ready,” really doesn’t mean anything.
Don’t be fooled by the sneaky little tricks we use to make it seem like we’re on time. When we say we’re “ready to go,” that could mean any number of things. Maybe we’re all dressed and ready but haven’t actually decided what shoes we’re wearing yet. Maybe we’re ready to walk out the door, but still haven’t located the car keys. “Ready” is a very subjective term.
We’re fully prepared to blame it on someone else.
No one is safe when it comes to the blame game. We have countless excuses lined up in our brains about why being late totally wasn’t our fault. It’s a coping mechanism—just go with it.
There is no cure for The Late Friend syndrome.
It’s something my fellow Late Friends and I will have to battle our entire lives. There’s nothing you can do, and the sooner you accept it, the better. No amount of organization, preparation or prioritizing will really have an effect in the long run. “Why don’t you just wake up earlier?” Sadly, it’s not that simple.
The best thing you can do for The Late Friend in your life is accept her for who she is (or maybe set all the clocks in her house ahead five minutes—either one). Also, sympathy cards and flowers are appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to learn more about this serious condition.
