Fitness is one of my greatest passions! I love to run, I love to lift, and I love to (try to) eat healthy! I love feeling good about myself and inspiring people to feel good about themselves as well. But, I do have some confessions, and I know I am not the only one who experiences these! Every person on a different fitness journey and has their struggles but some people do not show them. Obviously to have be best fitness lifestyle you cannot do some of the things I am guilty of. I love being fit and living a healthy lifestyle, however, I am not perfect. So right now, I am just going to be real, and I am going to say what most people won't. I am sorry if you do not agree with what I have to say but I am going to say it anyways, so enjoy my honesty!

I love the way I look

Yes I have insecurities, but I am not unhappy with my body image. I am not the perfect "fitness guru" and I am not trying to be. But I have realized I cannot look like models, all I can do is make myself get better from when I started. I normally have always been an athletic person with a high metabolism, but now as I get older I now have to keep working out and eating healthy to look the way I want! I love my body and I wouldn't change anything about it, I just love being able to see results of myself getting better from the day before!

But, sometimes I also hate the way I look

I know I am not fat, but like I said before I have insecurities. I have a fear of never reaching my goals with fitness. I fear that my love for sweets will ruin my chance of ever having a good fitness journey. Sometimes if I have a piece of unhealthy food I will look at myself in the mirror and feel like I am not fit, I am not beautiful, or feel as if I failed myself. In the transition from middle school to high school I struggled with somewhat of an eating disorder, and only a few people know about this. I was uncomfortable in my new placement in high school and I never thought about eating, and when I did think about eating I told myself I wouldn't be pretty if I ate more than 100 calories in my meals/snacks. Thankfully I have recovered from this point in my life, but I always get scared I will hate my body so much again I will go back to the way I used to be with the eating disorder. People will bring me down and tell me that I will never reach my goals or not have faith in me, and I cannot listen to them, those are the ones who make my view myself in such a bad way. It is so important to have people in your life who encourage you to reach your goals and make you confident in yourself.

I am not happy to go to the gym everyday

No, I do not wake up just beyond excited to make it to the gym. Sometimes it sucks and I really don't want to go and exercise. When I go to the gym I work hard, but honestly I'm not happy I had to wake up at 8:00am to come here! Sometimes I am really happy and motivated and excited to get my workout started, but that is not how I feel everyday. And when I see people at the gym I am honest with them too "Yeah, I'm here but I really don't want to be.." and then laugh about it.

I am not the healthiest eater

My friends know this, and my family know this as well. I try my best to eat as healthy as I possibly can, but, it doesn't always work out that way. I like to treat myself sometimes, I like to reward myself. If I want a cookie I am not going to make myself suffer through the pain. DANG IT I AM GOING TO EAT A COOKIE IF I WANT A COOKIE!

Diets suck, and I will never be on one.

To me, diets do not work. Yeah, you may see results putting your self on a strict diet plan, but after your diet is over and you start eating normally again you might loose the results, or even gain weight! You should just eat clean and treat yourself when you want in moderation. My diet seems to be more of an eat clean but indulge in moderation method. I cannot see myself ever being on a fixed diet plan of only certain calories a day, maybe cutting out certain foods, but not a fixed diet plan. Diets make me sad. "Oh you are on a diet? I am so sorry...."

I make myself feel bad when I don't work out

I shouldn't be doing this to myself, I should be able to take breaks and not feel bad about it. But I have noticed if I skip out on the gym one day a week I beat myself up about it and that is not healthy for my fitness journey mentality. Your body needs a break and that is one thing I don't do sometimes! Give your body a break!

I choose to not step on the scale

During high school it was all about the numbers, how many pounds I could loose or how many pounds I have gained. The scale does more harm than good, yes seeing the numbers go down are great, but you should feel happy with yourself more than anything! Are you happy with how you feel? Are you feeling energetic or weak? How you feel is what matters, I could have gained weight or I could've lost weight, but I feel great and I can see results in the mirror so that is all I need! Numbers shouldn't matter, and that took me a while to realize!

I get intimidated

I look up at the gym walls and see "No Judgements" or "Judge Free Zone!" But in reality you can't stop the judgments, that I feel is just a good marketing technique to use to get people to join your gym over the others. I work at a fitness studio and I will not judge others just because I know everyone is on different fitness journeys and I do not know what other people are going through. But, you cannot stop the members from judging others, it is just a fact. Whether you are told up front or just silently judged, you just have to accept it and do your own thing. I like to lift, and I like to lift heavy weights but I get intimidated when I go to squat or go to bench press, because there a ton of other people in the gym at the same time as you. Especially with women, some lift more than me and I hate feeling like they are judging how much I lift. But, I still have to constantly remind myself that I am just on a different fitness journey than them, and they have been in my position before.

Haters can hate... But I like taking gym selfies

I am not "bragging" that I am at the gym by taking a selfie, and frankly I do not care if people know i am at the gym or not. There is just something about a good gym selfie that makes you feel good about yourself, it shows you worked hard and you are feeling good about yourself! I don't sit on the machines and take photos, but like after a workout in the locker room I might take a mirror selfie or if I am by the mirrors in the from of the gym I will take a mirror selfie. What else are the mirrors there for... Am I right?? If something makes you feel confident about yourself, I say do it! Whether that is a normal selfie or a gym selfie.

It has not been a smooth ride

There have been many ups and downs, and days where I just want to quit. No ones fitness journey looks like a path to success, you will have downfalls, and you will feel like you have failed. If you set a goal for yourself, go and reach it. You will not have a smooth ride the whole way, you will have very great moments and really bad moments. But, in the end it will all be worth it. Fitness is something you really have to set your mind to, you have to work, it does not come easy! When I first started my fitness journey I knew it wouldn't be easy, and I have really great days where I see improvements and I see change, but I also have times when I want to be lazy or I don't feel my best. What I am trying to say is, I have not had a smooth fitness journey at all!

As a person who has a passion for fitness, I want to help others, I want to encourage others on their fitness journeys to know that everything and everyone is not perfect. I wanted to write about this because I feel the truth does not get told all the time about fitness journeys. Today's standard of beauty does not make sense. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. It took me a while to realize that my fitness journey is not perfect and it is so much different than the other girl that I see at the gym. Stop the comparisons, if you have experienced any of the same things as me know that it is OK, you have not failed on your fitness journey. Just get back up, keep going, and work hard to be better than what you were yesterday!