I’ll be the first to admit that I am not the kind of crazy girl who talks to everyone, isn’t afraid to embarrass herself, and just puts herself out there. I’m shy, awkward, introverted, and definitely a little bit weird. Here are a few of my confessions…
1. I’m not judging you just because I’m quiet.
Don’t worry, just because I’m not necessarily talking much doesn’t mean I’m judging every little thing you say. Most of the time I’m just listening and waiting for a moment where I can chime in and say something without making the entire conversation awkward. I’m not always the best at making conversation with people I’m not comfortable with, so sometimes it’s best to just sit back and listen.
2. I overthink what I should say.
I know I know, it sounds stupid. But sometimes I feel like I make saying “hi” awkward. Like, what if my voice cracks and sounds funny? Or what if you don’t even hear me? So don’t take it personally if I just give you a quick smile instead of a full on, “how are you, how’s life?!” greeting. Don’t worry though, after that smile I give you, I’ll overanalyze the fact that I totally could have just said hi.
3. I like to keep my ideas to myself.
I’d rather not voice my ideas just to have someone completely shoot them down just because they don’t agree with me. Plus, if I get shot down, then I just feel even more awkward. It’s annoying, and so many people do it. You can tell me your opinions all you want, I’ll stand there and politely nod my head, but don’t expect to get much back from me unless I know you’re willing to listen.
4. I think you’re judging my awkwardness.
I’ll be honest, I’m pretty sure the fact that I think I’m awkward is probably all in my head. That doesn’t stop me from thinking that you’re silently judging me for being so weird, though.
5. I rehearse every single conversation in my head.
No, it never works because the conversation never goes how I rehearsed it. But hey, I was super not shy and awkward during the conversation in my head, so that counts for something, right?
6. You’ll never know whether I have a crush on you or not.
Unless one of my crazy friends tells you, I’ll just continue admiring you from afar. I’m never the one to make the first move because I’ll probably mess it up and there goes any chance I had with you.
7. I don’t actually know why I get so awkward and nervous around people.
It’s really weird, I have nothing to be nervous about but the next thing I know, I’m sweating and my brain is doing flips inside my head.
8. I actually really like socializing.
I love time to myself because I don’t have to worry about being awkward around myself. However, I do really love socializing too. I just have to get comfortable first, and then you’ll see I’m not so weird, hopefully.
9. I'm hoping I’ll outgrow this awkward phase and be cool like all you sociable people.
It’ll happen someday, right? Probably not…
