My heart raced. My eyes darted from him, back to the sand on which we stood. I swallowed hard. Was I making the right decision? Am I crazy for thinking I can do this? As I slowly met his gaze again, I had my answer.
On May 21st of 2016, nearly three months ago, I made one of the most important commitments of my life. I decided, of my own free will, to commit my heart to loving a United States Marine. As stated in one of my previous articles, (which I urge you to read once you have finished this one); I never thought I would date another Military Man. At that point in time, dating another man like that simply wasn't in the cards for my life. It wasn't until that afternoon, on May 21st, that I realized I was stopped at a crossroads that could ultimately make or break the rest of my life.
Fast forward to March 21st of 2015, a mere three months prior to my screeching halt at the crossroads of my heart. That morning started off much like any other morning. I was blazing the trail for my surge of feminine independence. I had ended the misery that was my relationship with an Infantryman and was ready to start my life anew. As I sipped my coffee and sifted through the endless abyss of my Facebook feed; I noticed a text from a number I didn't recognize. I opened it to read, "Hi Maddie, this is Mat. How are you holding up?" Now I had met this young man at a party in November. I attended, mostly unwillingly, with my boyfriend the Infantryman. I stood in the small red kitchen at the party as my military boyfriend pointed to various party goers and revealed their branch of service in the Military.
"Oh yeah, " the Infantryman pointed, "that one is Mat. He's Marine Corps".
That took me by surprise. I'd always looked up to Marines, and I had various friends and family members who dedicated their lives to service in that branch. I had a lovely conversation with Mat about his service, and thanked him for choosing to serve our country. Out of everyone at the party, including my boyfriend, he stuck out as being the kindest and friendliest. I never forgot his face.
On that cold March morning, in my tiny apartment; I revisited our conversation. I will admit, at the time, I had no interest in dating him. He asked me on countless dates, and I turned him down...every single time. I even invited him to some events of my own, but cancelled on him last minute. After the horrors I went through with my last Military Man, I really wasn't interested in having another relationship for quite some time. But Mathew isn't anything if not persistent. After three whole months of constant chasing, I finally gave in. I mean, he was about to leave for three months of Boot Camp, it was the least I could do to offer him one date.
The moment he crossed the threshold of my apartment, I knew my life would never be the same. Even as I write this now, I regret the fact that I didn't agree to go on a date with him months before. He was charming, funny, caring, and engaging. He had drive, ambition, and a plan for his future. I was so mesmerized by his very person that I had to have another date. Much to his surprise, he happily agreed. I waited a whole week before our next date, and believe me, it was well worth it. That weekend we did all the things on every couple's bucket list: We ate pizza and watched a movie, went to Starbucks for a cup of coffee, went out on our first dinner date where we fought over the check, we even took a romantic walk on the beach. We fit an entire month of a relationship into two days.
However, despite the joy we had, it was all coming to a close. Mat was leaving for Parris Island to become a Marine, and I would be left without a word for three months. It was then that I had to make my choice. The crossroads presented themselves at the most inopportune moment, as they often do.
"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked. His crooked smile and big brown eyes staring down at me.
I took one deep breath and replied, "Of course."
Two days later, I sent him off on a plane to South Carolina with nothing but the hope in my heart to keep me company.
To say these past three months have been hard would be an understatement. They have been wrought with tears, sleepless nights, and countless days worrying if he is alright. Even though we are allowed to communicate through letters, it still doesn't hold a candle to the constant communication we once had. To be honest, getting letters makes me feel like I'm back in WWII, checking the mail to see if my loved one has written me a love letter from war.
Many people call me insane and ask me if it's hard to love a Marine. The countless tears I've shed, the long sleepless nights, and the heartache of missing him is hard. But loving him? That's the easiest thing I've ever done.
Semper Fidelis
