Before you came around, "no" was the majority of my vocabulary. I didn't believe I could change or good things were going to happen to me, because of all the bad things that never seemed to end. Then, one day you showed up and "yes" became a lot easier to believe.
I was at a low where it was hard for me to believe in myself, let alone anyone else when you met me. It was hard to think that you honestly wanted to be there and find out who I was. But, I took a chance, and said, "yes." I said, "yes" to letting you in and breaking my walls down because you gave me a reason to. This was the first of many.
Even before we started our journey, I knew how hard it was going to be with all the obstacles staring us in the face. Being 700 miles apart combined with being in the military was not going to be easy, especially when we've never been in one before. It meant a lot of time apart, long nights on the phone or skype, short visits together, and never knowing when you would be pulled away. With all the unknowns, I still said, "yes."
That was a tough decision that I have never regretted because I said, "yes" to so much more than the hard things. I said, "yes" to finding my best friend, someone to experience and share life with, to laugh uncontrollably, and have romantic weekends every few months. I said, "yes" to growing up and growing close with you and sharing everything life has to offer.
You made me say, "yes" to things I never thought I could be or do. I found the confidence to change myself, both mentally and physically. I told myself I can be better in every way I try, as long as I tell myself I can. You have never told or made me think I couldn't conquer the world.
After a time, I started to say, "yes" to things I would never have had the courage to do on my own. Getting a puppy together and taking on parenting roles when I could barely parent myself was definitely a challenge. But after seeing how well we worked together in caring for him, I could see our future becoming brighter. I said, "yes" to attending one of the largest music festivals in the middle of nowhere Tennessee with friends because I wanted to start exploring the world, and you pushed me to take the jump.
Eventually, I started to ask myself, "is this who I want to be with and spend my life with?" And without hesitation, I said, "yes." I said it to every good time, bad time, challenge, praise, loved and sadly filled moments that were ahead of us. To the smiles, laughs, tears, days without being together, and hours of being on the phone until we were reunited.
I said, "yes" before you even asked if I wanted to spend my life with you, and I will say, "yes" every day, for the rest of our lives.
Sincerely,
The girl who can't wait to say, "I do."
