Every life is different, every person is different. It doesn't matter if the person always has a smile on their face, everyone has their own form of sadness. No one is perfect nor should anyone expect them to be. I have a story, a story that impacts me to this day and probably will impact me for life. This doesn't mean I won't smile and be happy, It just means that I will have scars like every other person.

When an important person in your life simply vanishes it makes you question the world. How could they leave? Were you not important enough? Knowing that they are somewhere out there possibly thinking of you or maybe they aren't. You have to live with constant wonder and live with the fact that maybe you weren't a good enough reason to stay. It will scar me for life but I will still live everyday to its fullest. There are some things you should know about me.

I am clingy.

If we are friends please don't judge me if I constantly text back within the minute or I want to hang out all the time. I want to make you feel important because to me, you are a piece of my heart. I also don't want you to forget about me, I want you to care as much as I care. I want to remind you that I exist even when I know you already know. I am sorry that I cling but It is only because you are so important to me.

I have walls.

For me to trust you completely should be an honor. It probably took a few months or more because the last time I trusted someone they broke me. They left. I have to fear that one day you might leave to... taking a piece of me with you. I don't want you to know my past, my scars, my fears. Please do not take this offensive, it might be a slow progress but I hope its worth it.

I leave before I am left.

It is your job to hold me down, don't let me fly away. I have a tendency to leave before I am left. It's a defense because I don't want you to hurt me, so, I leave before you could even have the chance. It's not fair to you and I am sorry. I become the person who left instead of the one who stayed. I become the person who I never want to become. Don't let me walk away. I need you.

I am insecure... all the time.

I fear your judgement. I want be good enough for you so I will become the person you want me to be. I look in the mirror and question how could I possibly be loved? You come around and make me feel like the person I want to be but when you are gone I lose everything I gained. My scars impair my sight, I only negatives even in a world full of positives. I'll smile when I am around you and I'll do anything to make you laugh because I never want you to feel the way I do.

I have scars and I will never be perfectly healed but I promise to love with everything I have, I promise to give you my all even when it seems like I have so little, and I promise to be your person when you are sad or upset. I want to be your everything and I hope that doesn't scare you off. I am just a girl recovering from abandonment.