One of the many pleasures of having a job is the liberating ability to talk about anything going on in your life. You can talk about friends who are annoying you, family members you actually hate, and boys who are driving you crazy (unless, of course, the boy driving you crazy also happens to work with you, which should probably have it's own article for itself). The reason is because your coworkers don't know your non-work friends, your family, or the boys you're involved with. I always felt incredibly open sharing the aspects of my dating life to my friends at work, and hearing their experiences in return. However, recently a coworker brought up the age old question: what exactly is dating? I've talked about this confusing concept before, but lately it's really been weighing on my mind.
According to Google, the definition of dating is "to go out with someone (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested)". But then, what exactly does it mean to go out with someone? In middle school, we used the phrase 'going out with so-and-so' to refer to two people who were in a serious relationship (as serious as a middle school relationship could be, that is). In college, the only time we use the phrase 'going out with so-and-so' is to let whoever know that you're going get wasted in Tigerland with a friend. This definition also brought another confusing thought concerning dating... "someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested". In the eyes of Google, you're dating your friend-with-benefits, and for some strange reason I feel like your FRIEND-with-benefits wouldn't exactly want to use the term 'dating' to describe what was going on between the two of you.
Despite what it literally means, I use the term 'dating' to describe a serious relationship between two people. The coworker who gave me this thought provoking realization uses it to describe two people who are going on dates, whether the relationship is serious or not. I suppose that should be what it refers to, but if the rest of society doesn't use it in that way, the clearest I can be to describe going on dates with a guy is by saying, "I've been dating this guy, but not, like, dating dating, just, ya know, going on dates, dating," which opens up a whole new conversation about what dating is and what it means! Because that's exactly the scenario that got my coworkers and I talking about dating in the first place. It seems like a never ending conversation cycle that will only end if the whole world came to equal terms on what dating actually means.
After going on this frustrating journey trying to figure out how to explain dating, my final conclusion is: why does everything have to have a label? Why does it matter if I'm going on dates with someone or if I'm in a committed relationship? It's our own fault as humans for creating the confusion behind the word 'dating' and it's connotations, but if we want clarity, we're the only ones who can change it. Instead of focusing on what kind of words describe my connection with someone in whom I'm romantically or sexually interested, I'm going to focus on the experiences, memories, laughs, and conversations we share together. Isn't that what's most important anyway?
