Love Is About Compromising But Only To An Extent

Sure, Love Is About Compromising With Your Partner, But Only To An Extent

No one, no matter how much they love you or you love them, should be making you compromise on your beliefs, hobbies, and your wants and needs.

kru
kru
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Love is compromise.

You will hear and read that everywhere you go. And to some extent, that is true. When you are in a relationship, you will have to compromise on a lot of things with your significant other. It isn't all about you anymore. It's about the two of you together. Both of you will have different ideas and approaches that will need to be mended for the relationship to work. And, that is something you should be doing. You should be able to let go of some things or change them a little bit to make your partner happy. You should be able to go out of your way once in a while to please your partner. Compromises are good and healthy for the relationship. However, one thing you should never do is compromise who you are.

Being yourself and doing what you love is what you should be doing. No one, no matter how much they love you or you love them, should be making you compromise on your beliefs, hobbies, and your wants and needs. Instead, if someone really loves you, they would encourage you to be yourself and not settle or completely change.

Your partner is supposed to complement and encourage your dreams and goals and your personality. They are supposed to love you for who you are as a whole. There obviously can be some dislike in a character trait, but they should be understanding and communicate that with you to come to a compromise without completely changing who you are.

For example, let's say your partner finds you too loud in social gatherings. To you, that's your personality. You are very outgoing and friendly. There's nothing wrong with that. But, he would prefer if you were a little quiet and reserved. What he should not do is tell you to stay quiet and only talk when necessary whenever you guys are socializing with other people. That would be compromising who you are. The correct approach would be to talk to you about how feels and for you guys to figure out a way to come to a conclusion. For instance, if his family is really quiet and you being so loud maybe disrupts the atmosphere, he can ask you to tone it down a bit at family gatherings but let you be yourself when you guys are with your friends. In this case, you're not compromising who you are as a whole, just rearranging yourself a little for his happiness.

The right partner will love you for who you are, not who they want you to become. If someone is trying to change you and your personality, that is a red flag. Remember, you should make compromises in a relationship, but you should never compromise yourself.

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Stop Saying Your Friend 'Chose' Her Boyfriend Over You, The Pity Party Is Over

Your inability to be happy for others is getting old.

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First, let me start by saying that SOMETIMES this is what happens and you do get booted. However, most of the time when that happens your friend is in an unhealthy relationship and is being cut off from friends and family. If that is the case, you should get over yourself and be more concerned about your friends' safety and health than if you got “chosen" or not. If your friend has an awesome boyfriend and still outright disregards you and your feelings and chooses her boyfriend over you, then she was not your friend in the first place.

Now that that's cleared up, let's talk about how we as people should be kind and supportive and genuinely happy for those we claim to love.

So your friend that you do everything with got a boyfriend, things are going to change.

It's part of growing up. Your friendship dynamic is going to change. Instead of spending all weekend from Friday night to Sunday night together binge-watching Netflix and eating junk food you might only get a Saturday lunch and movie, a mani/pedi sometime during the week, or a late night hour-long phone call. Don't be bitter, don't try and make your friend feel guilty or even try to cut your friend out of your life just because you're not getting the attention that you want. Your friend cherishes your friendship and the guilt trip can make her feel so terrible about the fact she loves a boy and wants to spend time with him.

When you guilt your friend for spending time with her boyfriend, you become the one who chooses someone else over the friendship. You choose your own personal selfishness over the happiness of your friend.

You break your friend's heart when you give them this guilt trip.

She thought you wanted her to be happy, but now she feels miserable. She wants to be there for you but your angry, selfish bitterness is pushing her away, and the sad part is she feels it's her fault. Don't make your friend feel this way.

Your friend still wants to be your friend, she just now has someone she loves differently than she's ever loved someone before.

This person, her boyfriend, holds an extremely special part of her heart and has the potential to be her forever person, her future husband. Give them the space and peace of mind, knowing that you're supporting her through it all, to discover this!

The truth is, your friend wants to choose you both but you're the one who is not allowing her to do that. Examine your actions and thoughts and how you're treating your friend before you exclaim she was the one who ended the friendship.

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I'm Scared To Ask Boys To Hang Out Because Society Has Led Me To Believe That I'll Seem Desperate

Ladies, would you ask a man out?

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Let's get this all out, I'm an anxious person. I suffer from "slight" anxiety, I wouldn't say it's horrible, but I deal with it. Nerves, it's something I'm quite familiar with in life, nerves and I are friends, actually. I've dealt with "slight" anxiety for years and it has stopped me from doing many things, which I regret. My "slight" anxiety has reappeared once again in the situation involving the male gender.

I'm not going to act as I've never talked to boys before because I have and it's not the scariness things for me, but when it involves boys I like, it's a whole new situation. Once I start developing any sort of feelings for boys I like, I turn into an anxious mess. That over-thinking, can't say the right words, too scared to embarrass myself anxious mess.

Well recently, that anxious feeling mess of myself has undoubtedly come back to life in some shape or form with this one particular boy. I think it's time to dive into Aby's semi-complicated by not really complicated sort of, just being dramatic love life. So, there's this boy that I've found attractive for quite a while, it's great to admire from afar. I always knew he was there, we were friendly, and nothing really came from that until recently.

In the past month or so this boy has been giving me the most mixed signals I've ever had in my lifetime. Do you like me? Do you not? Are you flirting with me? Ae you just being friendly? I've liked many boys in my time, but I've never thought so much about what this one particular boy and what his deal is? It's been over a month and I still can't figure him or it out, so I've been thinking of doing something every girl is somewhat afraid of, asking a boy to hang out.

I know, it sounds so small and sort of dumb, but doing something like this petrifies and turns me into a nervous, anxious mess. I'll be one hundred percent honest that I want a summer fling, someone to do all those fun things together without the commitment of a boyfriend. It's the beginning of summer, which means I need to start sorting my options out right now.

Here's the issue, I want to ask him to hang out, but I'm scared to ask because I don't want to seem desperate at all. Society has led us to believe that men should be asking girls out instead of vice-versa. In all honesty, it's a bit messed up, but I've been led to believe that "guys ask girls out". So, I've always waited to be asked out because that's what society has taught me and that's what I've allowed.

Now, I'm preparing myself to ask this boy to hang out and I'm getting quite anxious, all the possibilities. What if he doesn't like me? Thinks I'm ugly? Figures out that I can't drive? Hates me? Thinks I'm annoying, oh gosh, the endless possibilities. One thing I know is that I have to try, so I'm going to be bold and ask him to hang out.

It's scary, I'm scared, but I'll never know if I don't try, which is true. Life is filled with mysteries and you won't know if you don't look, right? So, I'm going to get over my anxiety and just try, wish me luck in attempting to ask this boy to hang out.

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