We are all capable of feeling emotions. That is what makes us human. What emotion do you feel comfortable in? Many say happy, confident or love. For me, I am comfortable with my depression and anxiety.
I am comfortable with my depression because it will always be a part of me. My whole life was changed the day I was told that I suffer from depression and anxiety. I was only 15 years old. It all happened so fast. I remember being so scared because I had to deal with it alone. The side effects were the worst part about it. I honestly thought that dying wasn’t so bad.
Accepting my anxiety and depression was hard at first. Both never fully go away. Sure, they give you medicine to help the brain but it can’t truly be cured. You have to learn how to cope with them. So being open with my anxiety and depression was my way of coping. I wanted to help others and give off some kind of advice. I wanted to reach out to someone like me. I want to let others know that they are not alone. I want to stop the stigma.
I always told myself that I will never let my anxiety and depression define me. It has built me into the woman that I am today. My anxiety and depression are a part of me. They will never define me or make me any less of a person. My mistakes made me realize who I was and it taught me how to love myself.
Anxiety and depression can make you think. You think about what you do and what happened to you to make you feel this way. You think about wrong and right. You think about the good and the bad. You think about life and death. You start to feel so low and you start to realize the things you hate about yourself. It starts to hurt because you believe that everyone around you is thinking the same thing. You believe that everyone can see your flaws.
What I took from my anxiety and depression was that I have to love myself no matter what. There are going to be days that you are so happy and you feel on top of the world. There are going to be days that you aren’t going to get out of bed. There will days that you can laugh and smile all day long. There will days where all you will do is going to cry and sob. I have been there. I just have to live with it. I hated who I was when I took my medicine. I hated all the crazy thoughts that swam around my head. I hated my mood swings. I hated everything about me.
I had to learn about myself. I would sit down in front of the mirror and ask myself questions. I looked at myself. I looked at myself without make-up and being all dressed up. I had a bare face and just sat in front of my mirror. I would inspect my face and my find all the flaws. I would then think about what it would be like to not have that flaw. That’s when I realized that flaws are important to us all. Flaws make us who we really are. They mean everything to us. We have to love the flaws. This helped me gain the confidence that I truly needed.
So if you are suffering anxiety or depression, please know that you are important. I know what it is like. I can promise you that you are worth everything. Please learn to love yourself and learn to take care of yourself. It is okay to be yourself. It is okay to be imperfect. I want you to know that you are capable of being happy all on your own. Always stay positive. Stay strong and don’t let anyone tear you down. Fight the stigma.
