Comparison is a huge part of human nature. Who is faster? More successful? Prettier? Wealthier? Which is better? It’s this dangerous comparison culture that derives from our competitive society. For as long I can remember, competition has been a part of my life. Even at times when I haven’t compared myself to others, people still compared me to others. While some competition can be a healthy motivator for self-improvement, comparing yourself to others can also be incredibly hurtful to your self-image and even detrimental to your own personal success.

It’s how society shapes itself, but I don’t think that all competition is healthy, and playing the comparison game can lead to failure faster than success.

Playing the “comparison game” is something almost all of us do, sometimes without even thinking. It can be so easy to look around and compare yourself to others on every level; outward appearance, personality, perceived success, accomplishments, belongings, wealth, social life, family life, etc. All the while, the little green monster inside us comes out and the “grass is greener” mindset comes into play- only to hinder our own progress.

We’ve all heard the saying, “The grass is always greener on the other side,” meaning that it’s easy to look at someone else’s life and grow envious of what they have, rather than be content with your own life. However, the “grass is greener” way of thinking makes it seem like we are all working toward one common goal. However, in a broad sense, this could not be more untrue. We are all individuals working toward unique goals within our own lives.

Everyone has a different definition of what “success” looks like in their own lives and are all striving toward unique goals. Along the way, there will be times of victory and times of failure and downfall. However, everyone experiences this and it is impossible to compare one journey to another. We are all at different stages of our journeys and the desired results are unique to everyone.

Just because someone else is successful doesn’t mean that you can’t be too. Since we are all on our own paths to success, then everyone can be successful in their own right. Instead of sizing ourselves up in comparison with our peers, we need to focus on our own success. Being jealous of someone won’t make them worse, just as much as it won't make you better. Make yourself so busy working toward your own goals that it seems impossible to have time or energy to pour into what everyone else is doing.

Also, don’t forget that everyone has their own weaknesses. Everyone has times they have failed, and you don’t know all the struggles or hardships they have gone through to get to where they are now.

At the end of the day, you are the only one who is in control of how you feel about yourself. If you let others, and how they look, or how successful they are, impact how you feel about yourself, then that’s your decision, whether it's conscious or unconscious. Make the decision to stand up for yourself. You are awesome and unique and you have something special inside of you that no one else has. Don’t put yourself down by comparing yourself to others. Instead, choose to be confident, happy with who you are, and focused on your own goals, while also building others up.

Don’t get caught up in the competition-focused, “grass is greener” mindset. The reality is that comparing yourself to others will only leave you unfulfilled and hinder your future success. Live confidently, spend your energy pushing others to be successful, keep working to achieve your unique goals and realize that everyone has their own mountain to climb.