For whatever reason, you decided to enroll in college; likely, the reason was because society’s standards nowadays are for you to go to college and get a degree if you want to 1. Make any kind of decent money and 2. Be considered a professional, or someone of “educated status”. Maybe you had other reasons besides those, but regardless, you enrolled and were accepted. Congratulations! You have been given the opportunity to study in anything you could possibly imagine. Or, you could study undeclared and get a taste of what’s out there and make your decision of what you’d like to specialize later. Nevertheless, you have accepted the responsibility and privilege of what it means to be a student. Maybe something went wrong along the road in this process. Maybe you think that you have a reason to be the kind of student you are. Maybe something personal or drastic greatly affected your overall outlook on college. Whatever your reason, I’d like you to know that I’m jealous of you.
I envy the fact that you cannot feel the guilt of skipping class, showing up continuously late, not taking notes, and failing exams you didn’t study for. I wonder if you can tell how frustrated your professors are when you do these things. I am jealous of the mindset that despite your actions, you continue to expect your professor to be willing to help when you begin to realize this is your second or third time taking this course, and you need it to graduate. I’m jealous you can go to sleep at night knowing you have a million things you could probably be doing, but just fall asleep anyway. I wish I could sit through my professor’s lectures complaining about the assignments and their inconvenient due dates. I’m jealous you don’t need to plan ahead. I’m jealous that classes are the only thing you have to worry about, and community service hours, observation hours, grad school applications, letters of recommendation, jobs or clubs will never be a worry on your radar. I wish I wouldn’t worry about what my parents or classmates think. I’m jealous because I don’t see things the way you do, and maybe if I did I wouldn’t be so indulged in becoming a specialist in my future career and obsessing over where it could take me. Maybe you see me as the weird one, religiously planning out my life months in advance and paying attention in class, and maybe you’re right. Maybe you see nothing wrong with the type of student you are, and that’s fine. Mostly, I’m jealous knowing the type of student you are will one day receive the same degree as I will. I’m mostly upset knowing that I work as hard as I do, and the type of student you are makes me wonder why I do it.
Ultimately, I know being jealous of you has nothing to truly do with you, but everything to do with me and my sleepless nights and hectic schedule. Deep down, I know why I work as hard as I do. I hope that you will one day find a passion in something that allows you to go to extreme lengths in order to get to it, too. I hope that you will stop at nothing to get there, and I hope you become inspired by other professionals that are already there. I hope you eventually do want to get involved and see all there is that college has to offer. I hope you start caring, and realize the benefits there are of truly caring about something and setting goals and benchmarks to achieve one day. I hope you thank your professors that gave you the second and third chances, and recognize the privilege you truly do have. I hope you make your degree worth the time and money it takes to be in college, and I hope your experience at college will make your future career everything you want in life. Despite all of the envy, I wouldn’t change a single thing about my college experience, and I hope you can say the same.
