From the time I turned nine years old, I knew exactly what I wanted to do: get an education.

So, I forced myself to do just that. It seems as if I never get a break from studying or homework or waking up early to sit in three classes daily, but my education always comes first. As much as I refuse to admit it, I love school. But suddenly, it all changed for me. On Valentine's Day, a day to act on love, what was supposed to be a positive day turned into one filled with hate as Nikolas Cruz entered the doors of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, and began to shoot at innocent students. Students like me, who just want to succeed in life. It didn't affect me automatically. The fact that Broward County neighbored my county, Miami-Dade, left me anxious. The fact that the school shootings approached closer and closer to my home put things in perspective because it never occurred to me that it could happen so close to home.

Then, on Friday, schools all around me went on lockdown. People on Facebook threatened to burst into high schools and shoot them up, my alma mater included in the list. The anxiety rose more and more as I realized that my best friends could easily get hurt in a place that brings me peace - a place that gives me so much support for my ambitions now felt like hell.

Just this morning, I awoke from a nightmare that I got caught in the middle of a school shooting. When I finally got up and spoke to my mother about it, I bawled. It doesn't seem right that students can't feel safe anymore.

Will we ever feel safe again? I can’t even sit in my classrooms without wondering if the shuffling I heard in the hallway came from an intruder. It hurts. As a matter of fact, it sucks.

I hate that evil people decided that a place where one can grow should now become a place people fear. I hate that this country can spend millions of dollars on constructing highways instead of using it to bring security guards into school. I especially hate that politicians pass nonsense bills to repeal Obamacare instead of tightening up our gun laws, something that plays a more crucial role in the security of our nation.

I refuse to live in a country where my peace will get compromised as a new headline announces another school massacre. I am tired. I am pissed.

America, you beautiful nation, answer the prayers and use the thoughts to your advantage. I want my bachelor’s degree from Yale and I want to feel tranquility doing it, but I will not feel that until you elect officials who will advocate for a change! Let us make the first step in allowing our students to feel okay again. I sure as hell know that my dream won’t go down without a fight.