The Cloak Of Invisibility: Sometimes I Feel Like A Loner
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The Cloak Of Invisibility: Sometimes I Feel Like A Loner

Everyone feels alone at one time or another, so this is a poem about how my emotions eat me alive and spit me out...

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The Cloak Of Invisibility: Sometimes I Feel Like A Loner
Akil Webster

Uh, so this is kinda hard to write because that would require me to dig deeply into the blood-gushing wounds that I have imperfectly patched up with stitches and high-quality concealer, so the world would only see what I wanted them to.

I want them to see that I am a happy young college student who has it all figured out.

I want them to see that I have oh-so-much confidence and vigor and friendships and the motivation to be great.

I want them to see my dimple coated, mile-wide smile that greets everyone and anyone, showing kindness to those who need it and those who don't deserve it.

What they don't see is my struggle to create a happiness that I could only dream about.

What they don't see is my anxiety to make friends and my skepticism of confidence and vigor because I'm a shy young woman who hides behind a mask of giggles and smiles.

What they don't see is that I release my fears and anxiety through screaming at the top of my lungs and tears of insecurity that stream down from my puffy raw red eyes.

The truth is I am scared.

I feel alone when I am in good company and surrounded by the ones I hold dearest to my heart.

I feel like crying when I am having too good of a time because of my insecurity that something is going to go wrong.

And I feel like falling off the edge of a building or disappearing when I get worked up over the smallest thing or get stressed out because these feelings are too much for me to handle.

God, why do I feel this way when life has been nothing but pleasant to me?

I have lived a life that should not be taken for granted, yet I feel like I am alone in a world where no one understands me.

I need to accept this feeling and cope with my whirlwind of mood swinging emotions.

But, please I beg of you, tell me how...

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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