I may have wanted
the fairytale ending,
but I never asked for what came next
I didn’t realize
that when you put
your warm hands against my skin
the heat came
from the fingertips of the devil
I just thought
that maybe just maybe
it was the love
brewing in your soul,
but I guess all you wanted
was the physical rush
that ran through your body
when our lips came together,
I want to describe it as
The gentle flicker of a firefly at night,
but I cant keep lying,
I lie to my family
when they ask what we do together
because I know
I wont be let out of the house again
if the truth ever spills
like the stories that I tell my friends,
I whisper to myself that it’s nothing
as I only tell them the parts of the story
that make me feel like a princess
being held safe by my prince
I’m not ready to tell them
about the parts of my heart
that you have stained black
maybe that’s where the numbness
comes from,
I can still see the blood
as the blade cuts
through the fate line of my palm
sealing my destiny
in a crimson blanket,
but I no longer feel the sting of the tears
as I pray
to be taken
from this huge world
because you were supposed
to be my prince,
but instead of rescuing me
on a white horse,
you came in
and taught the dragon guarding my castle
to burn holes
through my fragile skin
and murder the butterfly of hope
that fluttered through my little world,
I guess you thought
I didn’t need to have faith in myself
for that would have given me
way too much power against you
in your eyes
I still tell myself that I am strong,
but that is just another lie
that stirs up the dust in the attic
where I hide away every feeling
that floats through my brain
as I wait for you to call my name
and ask for more.
