The 10 Phases Ever Coffee Enthusiast Has Gone Through | The Odyssey Online
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The 10 Phases Ever Coffee Enthusiast Has Gone Through

I don’t have a problem with caffeine; I have a problem without it.

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The 10 Phases Ever Coffee Enthusiast Has Gone Through
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If you drink coffee religiously, you definitely went through these phases.

 

The first sign: You grew up liking the smell of coffee.

 

The chances are good that you didn’t like the taste the first few times you tried it. More than one adult has told you that it’s an acquired taste. Yet something about that “haunting aroma” kept making you want to try it again.

 

Cream and sugar with a dash of coffee.

Next comes the awkward in between phase of getting used to coffee. You’re right on the verge of something wonderful but you’re not quite there. You load the cup with about eight heaping spoonfuls of sugar and enough cream so that it’s not even warm anymore. You might as well tell people you’re drinking cream and sugar with a splash of coffee. At this point you don’t completely love the taste but with each cup it grows on you.

 

Some unflattering effects don’t discourage you.

Being that you’re still new to this level of caffeine, your whole body shakes after one cup. You also realize that you need to start carrying gum everywhere to mask your post-coffee bad breath. And let’s not try to pretend you didn’t have to go to the bathroom five times in one hour.

 

“I NEED MORE COFFEE!”

It’s hard to say when you “matured” to this next phase. It happens at different times for each person. You’ll know you’ve gotten there when the shakes you once got from the occasional small cup of coffee do not seem to phase you as much. This is when the all too dangerous second cup of coffee enters into your routine. Your body has grown used to the rush that one cup of coffee can spark and it’s just not doing it for you anymore. But it doesn’t bother you because you’re also coming to really love the taste of coffee.

 

I like my coffee like I like my men/women [insert joke here].

You can tell that you’ve hit full-blown coffee addiction when you don’t even waste time putting much of anything else in it. A good cup of coffee can stand on its own. In fact, you can’t imagine how you once put so many sweeteners in a perfectly good cup of coffee. You have acquired the taste that your wise elders spoke of and have no plans of returning to the BC (before coffee) era.

 

Morning = when you drink coffee. Therefore you love the morning, right?

This may not be true for everyone. You’re relationship with coffee does goes swimmingly for many months after this though. You get excited to get out of bed in the morning because it means you get to press down a new Keurig cup, or if you're really authentic, the French press.

 

Your ears become fine-tuned to pick up on coffee-talk.

You listen in when you hear others spilling the [java] beans on their new favorite coffee flavor. If your friends are fellow coffee enthusiasts you definitely know their very detailed coffee order by heart. You all probably downloaded the Dunkin Donuts APP onto your phone and compare points.

 

The barista knows your name.

When you walk into your favorite coffee shop, the barista greets you by first name and if they ask what you want it’s only out of politeness. They already know exactly what you’re going to order.

 

If only for a second, you think you might have a problem.

 

You’ve told yourself that you’re going to cut back on the coffee consumption. After one day with a pounding headache you realize it’s not possible.

 

It’s a permanent part of your life.

Even though you probably take your coffee a little too seriously, we enthusiasts totally understand your journey and raise our mugs to you having a refill.

Coffee Jokes

A guy walks into a coffee shop and asks the waitress: "How much is the coffee?"

 

"Coffee is four dollars the waitress says".

 

"How much is a refill?" the man asks.

 

"Free, "says the waitress.

 

"Then I'll take a refill!" the man responds.



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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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