I began drinking coffee and espresso several years before I became a barista. Since then, I've perfected my craft and learned to appreciate the art of the caffeinated beverage in ways I didn't know possible. These are some of my totally biased opinions and pet peeves when it comes to coffee.
1. If you drink coffee you need to understand: there is more out there than Starbucks.
I love the place as much as the next caffeine addict, but I hate how so many people assume that Starbucks is the almighty God among cafes. Yes, the chain has grown significantly in popularity (I credit/blame the frappuccinos luring in the teenagers) but that doesn't mean that Starbucks does everything perfectly or that other cafes should follow in their footsteps. I'm begging you, do not walk into a Peet's and order a frappuccino -- read the menu and learn what a Javiva is.
2. You will lose major validity as a barista in my eyes if you stir a macchiato.
This is a cardinal sin that not many large coffee chains strongly enforce and a lot of customers don't understand. It is very rare to find a traditional Italian macchiato (steamed milk and foam "marked" with espresso by pouring it over the foam). What most cafes serve is a layered, often flavored drink with a larger amount of milk and a smaller amount of foam. This is close enough, in my opinion, but a stirred macchiato is not a thing. It's a latte.
3. Sorry (not sorry) to break it to you, but "expresso" does not exist.
That caffeinated thing in your latte is espresso, not expresso. It's cute to say if you want to make a pun, but other than that just... don't.4. If you shame my coffee order, we can't be friends.
Yes, caffeine has effects on one's body. Yes, many espresso drinks contain unholy amounts of sugar. Your black coffee is not superior to my mocha because there's nothing in it. I like what I like and you like what you like -- that's it. I too need a frappuccino occasionally...
5. I don't care who you are -- do not be rude to your barista.
This has nothing to do with coffee and everything to do with being a decent human being. Even if your barista makes a mistake, there's no excuse to be mean. So, please, turn off your cell phone when ordering your drink. Make eye contact and say thank you. It will make your barista's job a heck of a lot more pleasant and it'll make your day nicer too.
6. I really don't care whether or not you like foam on your drinks.
Unless I'm at work making your coffee, I could not possibly care less what your opinion is on foam. When steaming any hot drink, foam happens whether you like it or not. Feel free to scoop if off if you're so inclined, but you don't need to tell me a story about it. However, if it involves foam art, count me in.
7. Don't bother pointing out that I'm snooty about coffee. Trust me, I know.
No explanation needed.
