From when we were little girls, we have imagined our wedding day: our dress, the location, what season of the year, our invite list, the color scheme, and most importantly, the type of man we would stand beside when we say the beautiful words “I do.”
For some of you, this may be years away, some just right around the corner. But I caution you, wherever you are in your journey of love – please search for a MAN (and I emphasize MAN, not BOY) that is avidly seeking and pursuing the Lord far before he is ever pursuing you. Why you may ask? Because God is love. So without your future partner knowing Him and building a personal relationship with Him, he doesn’t know love—he truly won’t know how to recognize love, be loved, love you and ultimately love himself.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
The term “unequally yoked” derives from this bible verse- actually referring to the partnership between two oxen pulling weight (who would have thought, right?) To summarize, a yoke is a wooden bar that joins two oxen together to share the weight they have to bear. If one ox is too weak, too small, or unmotivated – one ox will be left to burden the entire weight causing the load to turn in circles.
Dating relationships and marriages can be viewed the same way. If you two aren’t on the same page, same chapter, or even same BOOK spiritually, you will find yourself turning in circles in your relationship. Logically, if you are moving in circles you are not moving forward; which is ultimately the goal in any long-term relationship. More often than not, the Christian (either he or she) will find themselves compromising their belief system to fit their significant others' belief system.
You may have experienced this in your past or current relationship; the feeling that you are turning in one big, giant, unhealthy circle. You disagree. You fight. You reconcile. Repeat. Sound familiar? Yes, it may be as minimal as you disliking how much he curses. It may not seem like much, but these small disagreements begin to stack up. And you realize that they all have one thing in common—YOUR CORE VALUES ARE NOT THE SAME. But why aren’t your values the same? Because you are pursuing a life built on the sweet word of Jesus Christ, while he is pursuing worldly things. As long as this is the case, you will not see eye-to-eye; simple as that. You will both continue in a hopeless circle – you will continue to bear the load.
To piggy-back off of this idea, in a bible study, I attended this summer, I was given an excellent example to illustrate the end result of this type of unbalanced relationship. Imagine that you are standing on top of a chair, attempting to lift your partner off of the ground to stand on top of the chair with you. It is MUCH EASIER for them to pull you down to ground level than it would be for you to pull them up onto the chair with you. Let me rephrase, it is much easier for them to pull you down spiritually than it is for you to lift them up spiritually. Do not let your faith be shaken by what you think is good for you.
I won’t lie to you. Finding this man may take patience. You may have to wait. It may be quite the journey. It may take some tears. It may take eating multiple jars of peanut butter at a time with a spoon. It may take a lot of time on your knees. But please believe me when I say this: the anxiousness and worry you feel will be far repaid when you can confidently say that you are spending the rest of your lifetime with a man that serves as a reflection of Jesus Christ.
A man that loves Him with his whole heart will absolutely know how to love you. The apostle Paul speaks of this in Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such, there is no law. When a man puts his faith in Jesus Christ; the spirit will overwhelm him and mold his character. He will encompass these qualities.
When you find the man that God has sent for you, it will be extremely obvious. You won’t have to guess where he stands, or who he stands for because he will make it evident. He will be adamant about proclaiming his love for his greatest Love yet. You will see Christ in his mannerisms. You will see Christ in the way he speaks. You will see Christ in his actions. You will see Christ in all that he does because Christ embodies him – He lives in his heart. Please don’t shy away, my dears. Pursue this man wholeheartedly; he is out there and he is searching and praying for you; just as you have been for him.
DISCLAIMER: Men, I do not hate you. I do not think you are all unbelievers. This article could just as easily be directed to women in intimate relationships. I was only creating a personal touch.
